Sometimes, it may be for safety. Others, it may be for safeguarding our own self-esteem or for protecting our emotional and psychological equilibrium. Either way, there are always certain aspects of our lives that are better to keep secret and not to share with anyone.
Now, we’re all aware that having a social and emotional bond leads to sharing certain thoughts and experiences that we tell others because we trust them. After all, friendship or love are characterized by this very process.
However, to take care of our psychological health, it’s necessary to understand that one’s identity often requires establishing certain boundaries of protection.
After all, almost nobody says everything they think, feel or perceive out loud without filters or taboos – unless they suffer some type of disorder. Thus, it’s also not appropriate to eliminate barriers and share all of ourselves with those around us.
In this article, we want to explain which aspects, dimensions and personal dynamics are better kept in your private garden.
1. Plans, dreams or projects: be careful who you share them with
We all have projects in mind that, on occasion, we like to discuss with someone.
Later, and for whatever reason, we may put those goals aside, postpone them or discard them. It can happen.
Unfortunately, this common occurrence may be the trigger for others to criticize us. They may use it as evidence that we’re people who give up and don’t fight for something.
In other cases, there may be a somewhat more complex phenomenon: people close to us may take on our same goals or they take over their own desires.
For these and other reasons (such as possible envy or suffering derogatory comments like people telling us that “you will not be able to do it or you will not achieve it”), it’s best to make use of discretion and safeguard our own life goals.
A silent, persistent, continuous and discreet struggle gets better results.
2. Keep things related to your friends or family secret
Everything that belongs to spheres other than our own is not our territory. Therefore, it should not be shared.
This is something almost “vital”: whatever has to do with friends, family and even co-workers is like a private treasure that must be protected.
None of this can be disclosed to third parties. None of it can be violated (nothing that they have gone through, suffered, lived, laughed at, or cried about).
Likewise, it’s advisable to demand this from others: no one can explain our secrets to others, either.
It is a principle of reciprocity that says a lot about people and that, therefore, we must practice.
3. The intimacies of our emotional life
Sometimes, when we have a strong friendship with someone, we don’t hesitate to talk about our sex lives, or those intimate and private details that we experience with our partners.
It may seem normal and even funny or reflective of a good, established friendship with someone at first.
However, it’s better not to get in the habit of revealing the aspects of the bedroom or details that only concern the very core of the couple.
There’s no problem in discussing certain aspects of the relationship that are part of our daily routine.
However, as we say, there are fields that are off-limits because of a basic and essential principle of respect for the person we love.
Discover also How to Build a Great Relationship with Your Partner
4. Many of your thoughts should be just for you
There are certain aspects of our personal universe that are not only inconvenient to bring out into the open and reveal to someone, but also, many times, can not even be explained.
There are times when we experience certain sensations, hunches or intuitions that we can’t define.
They are the ones that tell us, for example, that we should avoid certain people. They may tell us that we should choose one path and not another, or that, at a given moment, we need to leave a place, or buy a certain thing, or do something.
There are realities that simply happen “because they do and that’s that.” Thus, there’s nothing to explain. If we do explain it, it’s likely that people wouldn’t understand or even that it would give the wrong impression of us.
5. Your virtues and your noble deed
In 2001, I revived a man who had drowned on the beach. Last year, I took care of my mother with Alzheimers until she died…I ensure that my grandparents have the fridge full and the house in good condition every day. Did you know that I collaborate with charitable organizations? I’ve rescued 10 abandoned animals…
More than keeping these realities a secret, it’s best to not wear medals, to be discreet, to be humble.
There are millions of daily heroes and good people performing these same acts. Far from being heroic they’re actually normal actions that we should all carry out.
These are deeds that, in turn, enrich ourselves and reward our own hearts, not those of others.
Therefore, we don’t need to show them off. Sometimes, we don’t even need to mention them.
It’s reality that sometimes only we can truly understand…
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