Thanks to the Man Who Made Me a Single Mother

· August 13, 2018
Being a single mother is no easy task, but you should feel proud to be one. It takes a lot of strength and courage, and your children will see an amazing woman in you.

A single mother is a woman who is having a child, or has a child, and does not have the support of the man who got her pregnant. She has decided to take care of her child alone, bringing them into a single-parent family.

Single mothers face great challenges such as the responsibility of providing education, food, protection and upbringing to the new human being that they carry in their womb.

Thanks to the man who made me a single mother,  I have a wonderful daughter with great virtues who has taught me how to be a mother.  Today she is happily married and I am now the grandmother of my two beautiful granddaughters. And, thanks to this experience, I can write this article.

The news of being a single mother

When I found out that I was going to have my first child, I was only 19 years old. The news shocked me and filled me with fear. I went immediately to share the news with the father, but he did not want to hear it. The only thought that came to my mind was “I am going to be a single mother.”

Woman with pregnancy test

I had many other questions. “Will I be prepared to raise my child the right way?” “Will I be able to support them financially?” “What am I going to do with my child?” “Who will take care of my child while I work and study?” These among others.

I realized how great of a commitment I would have to make in order to raise my child and be able to manage our home without the company or support of a partner. But I had no other choice, I had to face the challenges that life gave me, for both of us.

Life goes on for a single mother

A few decades ago our society was full of prejudice and discrimination. As a single mother, I knew I had to get over the people who were pointing and coldly judging me. 

I had to pay a very high price, not only in an economic sense, but also for the psychological pressure and double standards I was experiencing. I also had to deal with the prejudices of my family and everyone around me.

I was aware that in most cases, this would involve facing the “double burden.” Being at home with my child and having to work under disadvantageous conditions. Compared to other working mothers who shared the responsibilities of their child with a father figure.

The importance of family support

With the passing of the years I was able to count on the help of some relatives and close friends. However, I wanted to be self-sufficient. I soon learned that that desire was too ambitious, and I had to put it aside.

Happy modern family

Because one person alone cannot form a family and children need their emotional, social and care needs met.  I successfully achieved this when I maturely and happily accepted my reality. So I started my new life, but it was not easy at all.

Some recommendations for single mothers

If you are a single mother, do not be ashamed; instead, be proud because there is nothing more beautiful than giving everything for your children.

Show the people who criticize you that you can achieve what you set out to do, and fight to make your children happy and proud of you. So that you don’t let social pressures suffocate you, here are some recommendations.

Leave the guilt behind

The first thing a single mother should do is forget about guiltAccept your reality with love so that you can raise a child who is also sure of himself. That way, you can face your future with the confidence that you will always support him.

It is important that you concentrate on being a good mother, not that you are both a mother and father, because that is not your role.

Do not limit yourself, finish your studies

You have to readjust your priorities because it is also important that you complete your studies. Having a high level of formal education will help you with better job placement.

single mother

It is important that you have a well-outlined schedule. This will make your tasks easier and will also give you some time for fun.

Talk about his father

From a young age, talk to your child about his father. Tell him positive things so as not to cause resentment, but do not lie to him. Don’t invent stories or exaggerate the characteristics of the father.

Tell him about the good times you had with him and, when he is at the right age, you can give him the details that he should know. The simple answers will minimize the effects of the paternal absence.

However, you have to keep in mind that each child is different. Ideally, you should speak with a specialized psychologist about the best way to tell your child who their biological father is without causing long-term trauma.

Lastly, it is becoming more and more common for women to decide to establish a family without the presence of a man. Society’s opinions about the issue have also become more open and receptive.