How to Survive the Dark Days when Nothing Goes Your Way

· October 25, 2016
There’s no need to fear the dark days. You should take advantage of them because they help you reset and remind you that a bright, sunny day is ahead

Everyone has those bleak, dark days when nothing seems to go your way. Everything that goes wrong plunges you further into bitterness until your thoughts become jumbled.

It might seem strange, but in reality it’s not only good to have them, it’s helpful to go through them as well.

The reason is simple: they serve as a reset. For a moment you must embrace your demons, meet them face to face, and then rise again.

Still, these processes should simply be moments in time. Occasions that come and then go. Your dark days shouldn’t last for weeks or months.

Discomfort, discouragement, anger, frustration, or disappointment can all appear. To get through these times, you need to take advantage of some helpful internal mechanisms that we’ll explain below.

The dark days, existential parentheses


People tend to defend their private spaces very well. We wear thick armor and sometimes even hide behind masks of false happiness to stay afloat most of the time.

Somehow, we’ve all been taught that dark days don’t exist. That rather than experiencing them, it’s better to hide and move on as if nothing ever happened.

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In fact, it’s common to not have time for it.

How can I allow myself to pause and understand what’s happening to me? With everything that I have to do!

  • If I have a headache, I take an aspirin; if I’m exhausted, I sit down…But what do you do if you’re trapped by the bad things, discouragement, and sadness?
  • No one has taught you how to channel those emotions. So before you face them, you go through a time when it’s simply easier to pretend as if nothing happened.

Nevertheless, we have to be clear. The things that hurt stick around. What you don’t confront leaves a mark. More than that: what isn’t resolved will persist until you are physically and emotionally sick.


The importance of crying when you need to

If biology has given humans this type of behavior it’s for a very specific reason. Crying is a physiological mechanism that serves as an emotional catharsis.

  • It’s a relief to be able to channel your emotions.
  • This behavior is a characteristic of humans, above all (there is still no clear conclusion for why animals like elephants also weep).
  • Crying is the healthiest way to ease tension, obtain oxygen, and allow your brain to process things more clearly.
  • What a good cry won’t alleviate, nothing can be done about.

If you repress this urge, emotional stress will build up and suffocate you. Your bad feelings will materialize as headaches, fatigue, general malaise, and worse.

The importance of taking a pause when you need it

Pausing when you realize that you’re having one of those dark days doesn’t necessarily mean that you pull away from everything and everyone.

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  • During those dark days you need, above all, to stand up and be aware.
  • You have to go on that delicate inner journey to delve into your darkness. Get to know what’s hurting, what’s bothering you, and what’s blocking you.
  • Being aware is disentangling yourself to expose your weaknesses and repair them. In truth, the thicker your armor is, the more fragile is the being that dwells within.

Everyone needs to embrace their demons in order to tame them, to make them smaller, and to control them.


Don’t be afraid to say what you need

There’s no need to be afraid to say what you need. In fact, something as simple as learning to be assertive will help you better get to know other people and their reactions.

Also find out: what are the effects of sadness on your body?

So don’t be afraid to say that you need a few hours to yourself. Take time to think, to go for a walk, to be alone with your thoughts, and simply let off steam.

  • At the same time, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Those dark days can turn from gray to blue just by sharing your thoughts with a friend over a good cup of coffee.
  • Dark days are like those summer storms that must be unleashed. It’s necessary to live through them in order to enjoy the refreshing wind and clean air behind them, once all the tension has evaporated.

Awareness of your own needs, emotional relief, and the support of a loved one can all be vital to addressing these situations.