Sometimes Mothers Feel Lonely

Balancing your identity between being a mother and a woman is not always easy, especially if many of us think that our efforts are not enough to meet the standards of the “ideal mother.” In this article, we'll explain why sometimes mothers feel lonely.
Sometimes Mothers Feel Lonely

Last update: 16 June, 2019

Motherhood is a stage of great changes. Many have to do with the delivery and responsibility of a new being and the way this impacts the woman’s former life. Sometimes, these transformations are overwhelming, and that’s why mothers sometimes feel lonely.

Combining both womanhood and motherhood successfully is not easy.

As mothers, we sometimes deal with situations like uncertainty, the lack of a supportive family network. These also include physical and hormonal changes, as well as some other transformations that cause stress.

Added to this complex situation, social impositions oppose the reality that many women live and feel during motherhood. As a result, it is not uncommon for frustration, incomprehension and loneliness to rear their heads during this phase.

The model of the “ideal mother”

In the society we live in, there are often different models of what it is like to be a mother. For example, look at television commercials, shows and movies. Have you noticed how they present mothers with babies or young children?

loneliness of motherhood

Surely you have seen them well groomed, in perfect shape and with a huge smile. They’re often slender women who are full of energy and vitality that change children’s diapers as if it were a poetic act. And as for breastfeeding, that goes without saying.

Mothers in advertisements are women who do not seem to suffer from the fatigue, sleep deprivation, loneliness or pain. For the media, motherhood is just that: a natural state of bliss and joy and of spiritual connection.

The ideal of a mother implies placing the child above one’s own needs. It claims that it is possible to comply with both sides, as if it were really easy to take care of a baby that totally depends on you.

Being a real mom does not match up with this model, and that is why mothers sometimes feel lonely.

Maternity in real life

If you already have a little one, you’ll know that idealized motherhood is essentially removed from reality. This does not mean that motherhood is an experience full of suffering and bitterness. Actually, it’s a beautiful stage in which there is also love and joy.

The truth is that motherhood is a mixed bag; that is, opposing feelings coexist simultaneously inside of us.

For example, during pregnancy, you can feel happy because there is a small life on the way, growing inside of you. But, at the same time, you suffer from dizziness, nausea and general malaise.

It should be normal to be able to demonstrate the malaise that a mother feels, but society dictates that those feelings must be repressed. So, since we don’t feel free to express our discontent or thoughts, mothers sometimes feel lonely.

We suggest you read: 5 Reasons Why You’re Already a Complete Woman

Loneliness in Motherhood

The real mother is a woman who is alone for various reasons.

One of them is because some information is not handed down from generation to generation. For example, it still seems to be a secret that childbirth will be painful, that being a mother will consume almost all your time, energy and money.

feeling lonely being mother

You’re also never told that sometimes you won’t be able to sleep and you’ll be tired and irritable or that you’ll feel inefficient and guilty for not fulfilling all your duties and commitments, etc.

In some ways, we have learned to live with the concept of an independent mother, as a woman who can do anything. But when we try to face the challenge of motherhood while keeping a lifestyle like the one we had before, we may feel alone and incompetent.

For that reason, it is very valuable to go through motherhood alongside the people we love, who should not only encourage us, but support us and advise us when dealing with any problems or doubts.

Seek emotional support

Humans are social beings. We are designed to live in a community and create a support network for difficult times. Motherhood is a more than appropriate time to ask for this kind of help.

Things like venting, asking for advice, receiving answers from those who have experience, understanding, and asking for favors are extremely important actions for you to release the fear and the stress that come with the responsibilities of motherhood.

mothers feel lonely

In some parts of the world, like in Spain and in the United States, women who felt alone have created maternity groups. In these associations, mothers gather to share their experiences, discuss doubts, fears or hopes. The goal is to banish any feelings of loneliness and create a support network that allows mothers to enjoy performing their role.

You are not alone

Even though mothers sometimes feel lonely, we want to tell you that you are not alone. It is important to remember that fatigue and sleep affect our mood and our physical and mental performance.

We are not, nor can we be, the perfect, ideal mothers. We are human women with strengths but also with limitations. Sometimes, mothers feel lonely, and that is not something to be afraid of.

Feeling this way reminds us that we need others and that we must also take care of ourselves at the same time. Maintaining a balance is not easy, but that does not mean that it is impossible.

With that in mind, if you feel lonely, look for support. Motherhood is not an easy path, but it brings great happiness.