Someone Who Truly Loves You Offers Calm And Certainty

November 30, 2018
Someone who loves you will try to understand who you really are. They don't try to change you. When someone really loves you, they accept your good points as well as your flaws and support you in all your endeavors.

Someone who truly loves you will make you laugh, will share their happiness with you. They will offer you comfort and certainty instead of fear, worry, and sorrow. These are the foundations of healthy love.

We all know that it’s not always easy to find a person who’s emotionally mature enough to offer this. It’s difficult to find someone who can give you a real sense of security, without using deception or half-truths.

But there’s something we must be very clear about from the beginning. It goes without saying that you must be willing to meet the needs of your significant other as well. Additionally, you should always be clear about what you deserve. This involves being clear with yourself as well as with others.

Always remember, too, that emotional or intimate relationships can be extremely complex. They require a great deal of personal investment, a willingness to change, and the ability to offer respect and happiness to your partner while also taking care of yourself. It’s far from being a simple recipe!

Also Read: 5 Types of Happiness

The relationships that stand out are the ones in which both parties feel calm and relaxed enough to be their true selves. It can be a magical and exceptional experience that provides you with great satisfaction and enhances your personal well-being.

Since it’s such a complex subject, it’s worth reflecting on these matters for a while.

Someone who loves you knows how to listen to you

Hearing someone isn’t the same as listening to someone – we all know that. When in a relationship, we need, above all, to feel that we are being heard and understood.

When you’re in an intimate relationship, you need to feel that your thoughts and feelings are being taken seriously.

  • That’s not to say, of course, that you have to agree with your partner on every single thing – that would be almost impossible! However, what’s important is that you know how to make each other feel heard and reach some kind of agreement in the end, even if you’re not of the same opinion.
  • That’s why “knowing how to communicate” is so important. In a sense, you need to put the ball of emotions you’re carrying within yourself into words. This is often a complicated task.

When you’re not the best at communication, for example, it’s common to keep quiet about the little things that annoy you, waiting for the your partner to guess or intuit them, almost by magic.

This method doesn’t make sense. Instead, you have to learn to talk about what bothers or worries you as soon as it comes up. Don’t wait until it’s already too late. 

Someone who loves you boosts your confidence

Someone who loves you will support your passions.

Each and every one of us deserves a whole relationship, not a half-hearted one based on disclaimers like: “Today I love you, but tomorrow I’ll have to think about it.” or “If you want me to show you affection, you must behave in a certain way.”

Nobody deserves a relationship based on uncertainties or blackmail. No one deserves a relationship where you’re living in fear that the other person will leave you at any minute.

No solid and mature relationship can be built on quicksand.

Also Read: I’m not Happy in My Relationship – What Can I Do?

A mature relationship require a calm space where you don’t have to fear anything, where there’s no fear or doubt about whether you’ll still be loved tomorrow, or if you’ll feel worthy of the respect of your partner.

Someone who loves you will support you

In this space, we talk a lot about the need to be able to shape the path of your own destiny, to keep your strongest love for yourself, and to fiercely guard a sense of personal security that allows you to live how you want to and make your own decisions without letting the opinions of others influence you too much.

Maintaining a strong relationship means having a firm commitment and investing in yourself each and every day. You also need to trust and value your partner.

Of course, you should feel supported by your partner.

It’s normal to care deeply about what your partner thinks of you – that’s why any critical or contemptuous comments about goals, desires or the way you spend our time is often very painful.

We have to bear in mind that to love someone is to know how to respect the other person and shine light on their personal projects. It enriches the relationship and enhances the personal growth of each person.

Someone who loves you won’t betray you

You can trust someone who loves you.

It should go without saying that someone who deceives you, betrays you, or lies to you is offering you a weak love that’s unworthy of the name. You don’t deserve it, you don’t need it, and it does nothing to dignify you as a person.

Another thing that you must remember is someone who’s capable of lying to someone who he or she, supposedly, loves doesn’t even love his or herself.

Something that is loved is supposed to be cared for as if it were a precious asset, a delicate treasure that must be guarded with attention and care.

If you have forgiven a lie and the liar, you at least need to be cautious and watch to see if the person repeats the behavior.

Forgiveness can be good, but it’s important to remember that we don’t have to forgive everything. If we do, we may blame ourselves in the future for harm the other person does to us, because we didn’t set clear boundaries bravely.

Someone who really loves you loves you for who you are

Someone who loves you will accept you as you are.

Someone who truly loves you will adore each of your nuances, your particularities, your beautiful virtues, and even your defects.

  • We must never forget this simple principle. Just as no one has the right to demand things that go against your identity and values, nor do you have the right to ask your partner to be something that they’re not. 
  • We must demand to be loved in an authentic way, for who we are, how we are, for what defines us, and for our true essence.

Never pretend to be something you’re not just to please another person. The only thing this will get you is a loss of self-esteem.

Always try to keep these principles in mind when you’re thinking about your intimate relationships, you’ll be able to create a safer space full of contentment and fulfillment for both parties. In short, a healthy love.

  • Callejón-Chinchilla, M. D., & Gila-Ordóñez, J. M. (2018). Necesidad de trabajar las relaciones de pareja saludable desde contextos socio-educativos. Sophia14(1), 31-38.
  • Rivera, Diana, Cumsille, Patricio, Domínguez, Carmen, & Hidalgo, Carmen Gloria. (2015). Los Programas Educativos para Parejas y Matrimonios: una nueva propuesta clínica para Chile. Terapia psicológica33(1), 13-21. https://dx.doi.org/10.4067/S0718-48082015000100002
  • Rodríguez Calzadilla, Amado, Valiente Zaldívar, Carolina, & Tan Castañeda, Nuvia. (2001). Las familias saludables y los factores determinantes del estado de salud. Revista Cubana de Estomatología38(3), 165-169. Recuperado en 21 de febrero de 2019, de http://scielo.sld.cu/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&;pid=S0034-75072001000300003&lng=es&tlng=es.