Someone who truly loves you will make you laugh, will share their happiness with you, and will offer you comfort and certainty in place of your fears, your worries and your sorrows. These are the principles of a healthy love.
We all know that it’s not always easy to find an emotionally mature person like this. It’s difficult to find someone who offers us a real sense of security, where there is no room for deception or half-truths.
But there’s something we must be very clear about from the beginning: it goes without saying that we must always try to offer others what we need ourselves. In turn, we must always be clear about what we deserve – and that means being clear with ourselves as well as with others.
And, of course, there’s no doubt that emotional or intimate relationships can be extremely complex.
They require a great deal of personal investment, a will to grow, as well as an ability to offer respect and happiness to our loved one while also taking care of ourselves. It’s far from a simple recipe!
The relationships that stand out are the ones in which both parties feel calm and relaxed enough to be their true selves. It can be a magical and exceptional experience that offers gives us great satisfaction, and enhances our personal well-being.
Since it’s such a complex subject, it’s worth reflecting on for a while.
Someone Who Loves You Knows How To Listen To You
Hearing someone is not the same as listening to someone – that’s something we all know. In love, above all we all need to feel that we are being heard and understood.
In an intimate relationship, we need to feel that what we think, and what we communicate to our partner, is being taken on board.
- That’s not to say, of course, that you have to agree with your partner on every single thing – that would be almost impossible! However, what’s important is that you know how to make each other feel heard and reach some kind of agreement in the end, even if you’re not of the same opinion.
- That’s why ‘knowing how to communicate’ is so important. A simple phrase that describes what’s sometimes an extremely complex task: putting into words the ball of emotions we all carry within ourselves.
When we’re not communication experts, for example, it’s common to keep quiet about the little things that annoy us, waiting for the other person to guess or intuit them, almost by magic.
This method doesn’t make sense. Instead, we must learn to say what bothers or worries us at the moment when it bothers or worries us, and not wait until it’s already too late.
Someone Who Loves You Boosts Your Confidence
Each and every one of us deserves a whole love, not a half-hearted relationship based on disclaimers like: “Today I love you, but tomorrow I’ll have to think about it. If you want me to show you affection, you must behave in a certain way.”
Nobody deserves a love based on uncertainties or blackmail. No one deserves a love that leaves you living in fear that the other person will leave you at any minute.
No solid and mature relationship can be built on quicksand.
A mature love comes about in that space of calm and shelter where you don’t have to fear anything, where there is no fear or doubt about whether we’ll still be loved tomorrow, or if we’ll feel worthy of the respect of our partner.
Someone Who Loves You Will Support You
In this space, we talk a lot about the need to be able to shape the path of our own destinies, to keep our strongest love for ourselves, and to fiercely guard a sense of personal security that allows us to live how we want to and make our own decisions without letting the opinions of others influence us too much.
Maintaining a strong relationship means having a firm commitment and investing ourselves each and every day, trusting and valuing the other person.
Of course, in every relationship it’s essential that we feel supported.
It’s normal to care deeply about what our partner thinks of us – that’s why any critical or contemptuous comments about goals, desires or the way we spend our time is often very painful.
We have to bear in mind that to love someone is to know how to respect the other person and shine light on their personal projects. It enriches the relationship and enhances the personal growth of each person.
Someone Who Loves You Won’t Betray You
It should go without saying that someone who deceives you, betrays you or lies to you on a daily basis is offering you a weak love that’s unworthy of the name. You don’t deserve it, you don’t need it, and it does nothing to dignify you as a person.
Another thing that we must remember is that the person who is capable of lying to someone who he or she – supposedly – loves, does not love themselves either.
Something that is loved is supposed to be cared for as if it were a precious asset, a delicate treasure that must be guarded with attention and care.
If you have forgiven a lie and the liar, you at least need to be cautious, and watch to see if the behavior repeats itself.
Forgiveness can be good, but it’s important to remember that we don’t have to forgive everything. If we do, we may blame ourselves in the future for harm the other person does to us, because we didn’t set clear and brave limits.
Someone Who Really Loves You Loves You For Who You Are – That Means Not Trying To Change You
Someone who truly loves you will adore each of your nuances, your particularities, your beautiful virtues and even your defects.
- We must never forget this simple principle. Just as no one has the right to demand things that go against your identity and values, nor do you have the right to ask our partner to be something that they’re not.
- We must demand to be loved in an authentic way, for who we are, how we are, for what defines us and for our true essence.
Never fall into false appearances just to please another person – the only thing that will achieve is a loss of self-esteem.
Always try to keep these principles in mind when you’re thinking about your intimate relationships, and you’ll be able to create a safer space full of contentment and fulfillment for both parties. In short, a healthy love.