Should We Have More Sex or Better Sex?

March 22, 2019
How often do you and your partner have sex? Before you answer, we've got something important to tell you: when it comes to sex, it's all about the quality, not the quantity.

Many people brag about how much sex they have. However, when it comes to making love, it’s not about the quantity. Quality is what we should look for.

In fact, when associate more with better, we’re wrong. Sometimes, those who have intercourse more often also have a higher level of dissatisfaction.

Sex goes beyond the act itself. There are many who reduce it to the simple act of penetration. However, intercourse is based on so much more.

Sex all about the quality

article_13946259853-500x304

Just by having more sex, we aren’t necessarily satisfied. Sometimes, this means sporadic sex. It could even mean sex that has become a boring routine. After all, more doesn’t usually mean better.

So, what do you really need to do enjoy good sex?

Let’s look at some examples:

  • Communication is vital during sex. Thanks to communication, your partner can tell you what they want to get a better sexual experience.
  • Generosity is also important, even if it isn’t reciprocated. Don’t be passive. Make an effort to please your partner.

That being said, it should be a delight, not a responsibility.

  • It’s important that you are in a comfortable environment. It’s one thing to be uncomfortable during the act. It’s something completely different to enjoy the time and relaxation that results in something more pleasant.
  • You should never skip foreplay. In fact, without it, it’s very difficult to reach a full sexual experience. Kisses and caresses are necessary for unrivaled enjoyment.
  • Synchronization and feeling connected is important. This may mean that you’re sometimes doing everything. But without this connection, it won’t be much more than an unmemorable act.
  • Confidence is also necessary. It liberates us from all fear, shame, or holding back so we can truly enjoy quality sex.

Your relationship with happiness

couple-having-sex-on-a-bed

A study published in the  Journal of Economic Behaviour & Organization focused on researching the relationship between sex and happiness.

They met with 64 couples between the ages of 35 and 65. Half of them were asked to maintain their number of sexual encounters. The other half was asked to increase the amount of intercourse they had.

In the end, the pairs who increased their amount of sex were not happier than the other half.

Perhaps this was because they didn’t give their sexual desire time to grow. Because of this, their sexual appetite diminished every time.

This investigation discovered something. Having more intercourse doesn’t mean that we’re happier. It also doesn’t mean that we enjoy it more. Because of this, we need to focus on quality. This is where sexual satisfaction can really be found.

Read more: Sensory Stimulation: Senses That Give Us Sexual Pleasure

Sex isn’t something you can control

couple-fallen-on-the-bed-with-problems

Sometimes, you may become frightened about some aspects of your relationship. This is normal, but may lead to less sex.

There will also be times when you get into a sexual “routine.” This is characterized by set days that you feel like have to do it, whether you feel like it or not. As you can imagine, this can also become a problem. This can even make us start to hate sex.

Read more: The 7 Most Popular (And Fake!) Sex Myths

We need to allow our desires to flow naturally without forcing ourselves to follow strict patterns. It’s similar to when we don’t want to eat but we eat anyways because we have a set schedule.

At the end, you feel overfull, bloated, and even disillusioned. You don’t enjoy the meal, and you feel bad for doing something that you didn’t want to do.

woman-with-pillow-over-her-head

Every couple is different. Who says that it’s necessary to do it once a week? Who says that doing it once a month is a bad thing for your relationship?

Never compare yourselves to other couples. Don’t try to follow a set regimen for sex. This can have the opposite effect and be very devastating.

Look for quality in sex, not quantity. When it’s all said and done, what is really important is to enjoy a full, satisfying time of intimacy.

We hope you liked our article, for more information on sex click below!

  • Liu H, Waite LJ, Shen S, Wang DH. Is Sex Good for Your Health? A National Study on Partnered Sexuality and Cardiovascular Risk among Older Men and Women. J Health Soc Behav. 2016;57(3):276-96.