Should You Save Your Relationship by Ignoring Infidelity? - Step To Health

Should You Save Your Relationship by Ignoring Infidelity?

Betrayal can break even the strongest of bonds, but when it comes to love, forgiveness opens new ways and make the relationship come out stronger. This begs the question: Should you save your relationship by ignoring infidelity?
Should You Save Your Relationship by Ignoring Infidelity?

Last update: 14 March, 2019

Ignoring infidelity and trying to recover trust in your relationship is possible, but it isn’t easy.

Adultery is as old as marriage. For a long time, men were allowed to cheat with little or no consequence, supported by biological and evolutionary theories that justified their need to be unfaithful. However, in modern times, a more progressive society started condemning it due to the importance of healthy families as the basis of society.

Coping and dealing with infidelity is no easy task and, in many cases, it can lead to the end of a relationship. However, if there’s interest on both sides to continue it, then it doesn’t have to end. It’s all about the attitude of those who are involved in it, and certain attitudes are the foundation for reconciliation.

Is it Possible to Recover from Infidelity?

Hugging couple, she's not into it.

Trust is the basis of every relationship. It takes time and effort to build it, and yet it can break in a matter of seconds.

Was it you who was unfaithful?

It’s normal for people to go through moments of denial, shock, anger, depression, despair, and confusion. However, after the first emotions, people may enter into the dilemma of saving the relationship by ignoring infidelity, or ending it altogether.

The following two things should be considered in order to give things a second chance:

  1. Love
  2. Remorse

Both the fact that you love your partner and they love you back added to the realization that they’re sincerely sorry for their offense to you and your relationship together are very important reasons to overcome the situation.

If you’ve decided to save your relationship, follow these tips:

Talk to Each Other

Communication is the key to healthy relationships. Sit down with your significant other and talk. Analyze and talk about what went wrong with loving bond to make you, or them, try to connect with another person. Don’t let your emotions control you.

Spend Time Apart

Taking a break from your commitment may just be what you need when considering saving your marriage. Spending time away from each other can help you both reevaluate where the real problems in your relationship are.

Make Changes

You cried your heart out, and expressed what you felt, and told them what you thought of their betrayal, but now, it’s time to heal and move forward. Depending on the reasons why your partner cheated on you, try to make the changes your relationship needs.

Seek Marriage Counseling

If, in spite of all of your attempts, you have put into practice the previous points and still can’t get over the anger, look for some marriage counseling. Follow the suggestions of the professional who might help you save your relationship.

What are the Causes of Infidelity?

Dangerous liaisons.

Although each case has specific variables, there are some common reasons why people may cheat on their spouses:

  • Heartbreak: The feeling that love is over in the relationship because you no longer feel the sexual and romantic intensity of the first weeks, months, or years may lead people to seek other options.
  • Insecurity: One feels inferior to their partner and infidelity serves to reaffirm their value in the love market and boost their self-esteem.
  • Monotony: Even though a relationship may be satisfying in general, at some point one of the parties gets bored of the same and wants to try something different.

Is There a Positive Side to Ignoring Infidelity?

Sometimes, it’s difficult to understand it, but infidelity can have a positive side. It can be an opportunity to get to know each other again and renew a relationship. Thanks to the chaos, some couples find a new beginning and are able to have deep, honest, and open conversations like they haven’t had in decades.

When we’re about to lose someone important, it makes us reevaluate our relationship with them. Furthermore, even those couples who have been sexually apathetic sometimes rekindle the flame after a shock like this. The fear of loss reinforces desire.

Affairs can have a double perspective: first, there’s damage and betrayal, and second, there’s growth and self-discovery. So it is possible to save a relationship after infidelity and starting a new path.

However, remember that in order to recover, it’s essential that both people involved in a relationship are interested and willing to work it out.

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  • Batista da Costa, C., & Mara Bosetto Cenci, C. (2014). A Relação Conjugal Diante da Infidelidade: A Perspectiva do Homem Infiel. Pensando Famílias.
  • Bird, M. H., Butler, M. H., & Fife, S. T. (2007). The process of couple healing following infidelity: A qualitative study. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 6(4), 1-25.
  • Glass, S. P. (2002). Couple therapy after the trauma of infidelity.