It’s Not Love if You Have to Ask for It

· June 6, 2016
If you have to beg for attention, it's not love. False love is a painful and can be difficult to break free from, but the tips in this article can help.

Never sacrifice your self worth for someone who doesn’t know how special you are. If someone fails to value you for who you truly are, ignores, abandons, or disrespects you, don’t beg for their attention or love, because it’s not love, it’s dependence. You deserve better.

It's Not Love

If you take a bite from the poisoned apple of indifferent love, you’ll suffer greatly for it.

If “you’re asking for too much,” it’s only because you know what you want and how important it is to you. You have to value your own thoughts, opinions, desires and behavior.

Listen to and love yourself, because you’re the only one who can help yourself break free when it’s not love, but false love.

You never need to beg for love: if so, it’s not love

Begging for love means asking for something that doesn’t exist outside of your mind. The only things that come from begging are a lack of self respect, a hindrance to your emotional development, and the pain that comes with the loss of your dignity.

When we love someone, we naturally want to care for them and avoid heartache. Our emotional reflexes invite us to create circumstances that make us feel deserving of love by fostering emotions and feelings that promote harmony, sincerity and affection.

If you don’t recognize that it’s not love, you’ll end up believing what they make you feel. You’ll end up thinking that you don’t deserve attention or affection, and you’ll finish by convincing yourself that one-sided relationships are OK.

In the end, it’s simple: the person that deserves you is the one that known how to show you the love you deserve, appreciates you and dedicates their time and thoughts to you.

Want to know more? Read: 

Emotional Maturity Is Knowing that Life Isn’t Perfect

It's Not Love

No one can make you unhappy without your permission

The most powerful tool for fighting emotional injustice and indifference is self-determination. In addition, this should come with a sense of healthy self-esteem, self-knowledge and the ability to reflect on feelings, desires and your own and others’ behavior.

However, the process by which we end up in a relationship when it’s not love often speaks to a form lack of dignity. Unfortunately, many seem to forget that you shouldn’t pursue someone who doesn’t deserve you.

In this sense, you need to know how to employ some successful strategies for overcoming the pain of false love. Let’s take a look at some common situations:

  • When it’s not love, it’s often hard to process the pain of this realization. Generally, you may know that “something isn’t right”, but you don’t want to put it into words or take off your emotional blindfold.
  • Thus, you may ignore the discomfort and avoid it. You do this by holding onto the belief that the emotional problem will resolve itself on its own naturally.
  • When you finally give into the discomfort, there comes a time when the discomfort is too much to bear. Then, you’re forced to face the issue before you’re overwhelmed.
  • However, what happens when you fight your own feelings? Unfortunately, the fight turns into an endless battle that only prolongs the suffering. When it comes to pain, neither ignoring or embracing it is positive.
It's Not Love

What you really need to handle the pain when it’s not love is to deal with it. Then, you can walk away with the understanding that it hurts because what you really want is someone to love you. Unfortunately, the other person probably didn’t truly love you back.

In order to overcome the pain, the next step is to understand and accept that you chose the wrong person. Then, you must mourn your loss. It’s only natural to mourn the loss of something that you wanted so badly.

Don’t forget to read: 

No One Deserves Your Love More than You Do

Learn to love and appreciate yourself

Although every emotional situation is complex, all suffering has a solution. True change is possible when you’re willing to work at it and face the painful situation.

So, it should be clear that the first person that you need to dedicate your time to is yourself. Then, you’ll be able to truly determine what you want.

It's Not Love

Don’t beg for attention, much less love, from anyone. After all, anyone who loves you will show you in one way or another.

Remember that emotional injustice plays a role in helping develop self-esteem. It helps you to examine your desires, values and needs.

Don’t keep calling someone who won’t answer your calls. If it’s not love, it’s not worth your time. Stop looking and start letting love find you.

Finally, don’t forget to examine the reasons that fostered your attachment to that person in the first place. What made you want to beg for their love and attention? Go to the source and start your internal transformation.

Overall, it’s essential to nourish your self-esteem and stop begging for love. You should never have to ask for love, and if you do, then it’s not love. Your attention and affection are too valuable to waste on someone that doesn’t deserve you.

Dedicate yourself to those who love and understand you unconditionally.