Misunderstandings Cause Chasms to Come Between People

· January 5, 2017
We need to remove ourselves from the situation in the best way possible. When we do this, we can get a more objective understanding of what’s happening.

Unfortunately, it’s common that misunderstandings come from well-meant thoughts and actions. This even happens with people that we’ve spent a lot of time with.

As a result, there are many people who hope that those whose feelings they hurt will come back. Likewise, there are people who want to return, but don’t dare.

A misunderstanding comes from the conflict caused by intentions, the way people communicate, and the lens through which they see the world.

So, as it has been said:

“Between what we think, what we want to say, what we believe we say, what we say, what we want to hear, what we hear, what we believe we hear, and what we understand, there are eight ways to be misunderstood.”


The great distance caused by pride

In the beginning of a misunderstanding there are usually certain elements. They can be pride, tiredness, or a lack of confidence in ourselves or the other person.

This cocktail of variables can come together to create the perfect storm for misunderstandings. There comes a moment when we interpret a certain tone of voice or ambiguous words as being hostile. But, in reality it isn’t like that.

That means that to avoid this, we need to be aware of both our state of mind and that of the other person. Otherwise, we’ll jump to conclusions.

Most times, we see conflicts as being less devastating when we see them from a distance. This helps us to avoid pride or emotions that make the situation worse. Taking a step back and looking at the whole situation helps us to have a better reaction before we hurt the other person’s feelings.


The difference between pride and dignity

Following the same line of thought, it’s important to make a distinction between pride and dignity. Pride is selfish and negative. Dignity, on the other hand, has a foundation in respect.

However, it’s apparent to many that it can be hard to distinguish between the two attitudes. Dignity wants to maintain balance and equality among the options, thoughts, and actions. Pride, on the other hand, looks to stay on top.


Achieving understanding

As we are finding out, it isn’t easy to make ourselves understood sometimes. This is especially true when our motives are based in different realities.

We can repeat over and over what we think. But, the person in front of us might not understand what we are saying.

This doesn’t mean that the person we are talking to is bad. It just means that they are in a different place in life and have a different perspective than we do.

It’s natural for people to want to have their thoughts and feelings reaffirmed. If done in a bad way, this can be an obstacle to understanding. When the goal is to get the other person to understand what we see.

We can’t always control all of the variables that make good communication. It’s always a good idea to think about the situation by taking a step back. This lets us think about the whole situation.

To put together the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle that is understanding, we need to base our attitudes on the respect of the other person.


Being responsible for what we say

The possibility and strength of the anger and misunderstanding we feel can be strong. They are proportional to the emotional implication that we put on the subject in question. It can also depend on our relationship with the other person.

The closer we feel to the person, the more important it is to have a good interpretation of what their message is. But this also allows us to better understand an unfamiliar message that they are trying to tell us.

Each person has to try to interpret the words in relation to the ties they have to the other person. The same thing also applies to expectations, personal interests, and where they are emotionally.

Because of this, it is important to go over the importance of not falling into bad communication. Bad communication can generate distant torments and thought processes.

In other words, we need to pay attention to make sure we don’t fall into an emotional tornado. This means not falling into the trap of playing the devil’s advocate.


Misunderstandings are very painful. This is especially true when they are taken as being intentional and emotionally negative towards a person.

We have to fight against bad intentions that want to undermine our integrity. The best way to do this is to take a step back and look at the situation from a distance. This means taking a step back, tolerating differences, and not letting others belittle our needs.

The best track we can have with others comes with looking at the difference between acts and words But, we should always keep other people’s realities in mind.

Because of this, it’s essential that we are always cautious. We should also keep in mind that, many times, the only certainty about intentional distance is that it gives us time.