The person who loves you will make you happy, make you feel like you’re flying, and above all, make every effort to bring you joy.
Too often, people have fallen into that classic idea that love means suffering and your tears are a normal part of relationship maintenance.
This idea is rooted in an outdated image of romantic love, and the distorted picture of what affection truly is and the pillars of a committed and healthy relationship have damaged partners through many generations.
In today’s article we want to invite you to reflect a little more on this idea.
The person who loves you won’t make you suffer
Maybe at some point in your life someone close to you has said, “It is what it is, take it or leave it. In relationships someone is bound to suffer. It’s normal.”
Sometimes what’s considered “normal” can include dangerous dimensions that are destructive. That’s why it’s important to be clear that love does not mean suffering, and the person who makes you cry in your relationship is someone who doesn’t truly love you, or who loves you in a “wrong, unhealthy way.”
See also The secret to happy relationships
Romantic love, or love that accepts suffering
More pain, more passion, more possession, the greater the love. These are some of the more classic ideas that have created the ideal of romantic love, which you see in the occasional movie or book.
- Believe it or not, however, this idea is still very prevalent among young people and adolescents. They think that when their partner responds with jealousy or possessiveness it’s a clear sign of their love, which can lead to them falling into very dangerous types of relationships.
- They also only understand the concept of romantic love in those early stages that are full of passion. They may fail to realize that a relaxed, shared love signifies entry into a more mature and stable stage.
- Another misconception that’s often associated with romantic love is the idea that suffering is inevitable. You may think that tears are inevitable, something to be accepted and borne. This is not appropriate or advisable.
Today it’s easy to find people trapped in unhappy or destructive relationships where their self-esteem has been destroyed completely, or they’ve fallen into dependent relationships where both partners tolerate pain and tears.
Instead you must learn to believe in the idea that love should not cause pain.
It’s important to note that healthy and true love never seeks to destroy.
Conscious love, mature love
No one is born knowing everything there is to know about love. It’s something that is learned through disappointment, being hurt on occasion, and even turning away from a relationship to discover yourself again.
- Don’t ever blame yourself for failure or start to think that “love is suffering.” It’s not true, or at least it shouldn’t be.
- Conscious love always begins with something as simple and essential as saying “love yourself” first.
- Only when you feel confident in your self-esteem and have a clear idea of what you deserve can you begin to lead healthy, responsible, and happy relationships.
- Mature love is the kind that seeks the best for the couple, and to achieve that, it always begins with your inner self.
- A confident person who has good self-awareness won’t be trapped by their fears or obsession with control, worrying about a possible betrayal.
The person who loves and respects you will trust you and not betray you.
Whoever loves you should make you happy
Promote the happiness of the people you love–it’s a virtue that shapes who you are. It’s useless to cause tears or suffering, and anyone who thinks that’s right or normal has a distorted and damaging view of what relationships are.
- Some think that it’s normal to experience suffering with their partner, and this has a very clear purpose: to control them.
- Meanwhile, some are surprised to see that they’ve upset their partner, saying, “You’re always offended by everything, and everything I do hurts you.”
In this case, you’re dealing with someone who is unable to empathize and take responsibility for their actions.
We recommend that you also read It’s not love if you have to ask for it
The person who truly loves you will strive to make you happy, bringing a smile to your face and joy even on rainy days.
Every smile is part of that hidden engine in your relationship that’s built on happiness, reciprocity, and trust.