Long-Distance Relationships May Prevent Hugs, But Not Feelings

· August 10, 2016
To keep your distance from harming your relationship, it’s important that both parties understand the situation and trust the other person unconditionally

The distance between two people who love each other is like a gossamer thread that strings together two hearts. The feelings are still present but there is always that fear – fear that the miles between you will break your gaze, separating two bodies that were recently so close.

Throughout your life, it’s common to have to part, for whatever reason, from someone who is dear to you. Sometimes it’s a romantic partner, other times it is a child.

Work tends to be the most common reason that creates these forced separations. Although they may be temporary, they can pose a tough challenge for your bond, your relationship.

Doubts, fears, and above all the longing for your other half appear.

However, sincere feelings and two minds that know how to manage these complex and vital moments understand that distance is just a lack of physical contact – not an absence of feeling.

We invite you to reflect on this theme.

The distance separating your souls

When two people start a relationship you never know what tests you’re going to have to go through. So when you build a bond with someone, you need to be clear about a few things:

  • To love is to know how to invest your efforts.
  • Loving someone is always a risk.
  • A stable, mature, and conscious relationship is one that has managed to cope with the difficulties that appear. Situations that neither of you may be prepared to face.

In today’s changing, competitive, and complex society, having to relocate to improve your economic situation and even your education is a common thing.

Although it’s most reasonable to undertake these challenges together, that may not always be possible. At least, for a certain period of time. This is when the most common problems appear that we’ll analyze below.

We recommend you also read: Don’t Let Love Change Who You Are

woman holding the moon

The uncertainty of affection across the distance

Doubt, fear, and mistrust are usually the main enemies of long-distance relationships.

  • Part of you has adjusted to having this other half, your partner. When space opens between you where they are miles away and doubt creeps in, you may feel like you’re losing part of yourself.
  • The uncertainty of knowing whether they continue to love you is the main problem. That’s why it’s common for people to demand more phone calls, messages, or interactions to confirm your link when what you really need to do is calm your fears.

It’s undoubtedly very complex.

See also: The Perfect Relationship

Long-distance relationships: who can and who can’t maintain them

Relationship experts say that not everyone is prepared to maintain a long-distance commitment.

These are signs that represent people who may have trouble maintaining long-distance relationships:

  • People who have low self-esteem, for example, tend to have greater attachment disorders, needing immediate reinforcement and a closeness that can’t survive being separated.
  • A low opinion of oneself, low self-esteem, and high insecurity can trigger jealousy and mistrust that in turn causes a lot of suffering for the other person.

These are qualities that show someone can handle long-distance relationships:

  • On the other hand, those who have good psychological health and are emotionally mature can establish a commitment to their partner based above all on trust, on a common ground with their loved one.
  • That doesn’t mean they don’t also suffer from homesickness, that lack of physical contact, touch, feeling close, knowing looks…
  • When you love from the heart and your mind is at peace, it’s because you have trust in one another, no matter what the distance.

Tips for maintaining long-distance relationships

As we said above, the personality of each partner is essential for staying strong during the time you are apart.

a red thread uniting two hands representing a long-distance relationship

Still, there are some important factors to consider:

  • Your distance must have a purpose that both partners understand and have accepted. It should be clear in every relationship that the intention is to ultimately create a life together.
  • If that doesn’t happen, if you don’t understand each other or see why the other person has to go, it can be very difficult to maintain that relationship.
  • Build trust and respect with every moment. In spite of the fact that you might be in different places on the map doesn’t mean that you won’t continue to share a common emotional space.
  • In spite of the distance, you must remain sincere with one another.

If at any time it’s not possible to make that Skype call or you’re busy, the other person must be able to understand this without worrying, without assuming the worst.

Distance is temporary. That’s the most important thing. If a couple is forced to separate, they must remember that every day that passes is one less until they are reunited again.

Your strength, sadness, and longing need to have a purpose.

Cameron, J. J., & Ross, M. (2007). In times of uncertainty: Predicting the survival of long-distance relationships. Journal of Social Psychology. https://doi.org/10.3200/SOCP.147.6.581-606

Guldner, G. T., & Swensen, C. H. (1995). Time Spent Together and Relationship Quality: Long-Distance Relationships as a Test Case. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407595122010

Neustaedter, C., & Greenberg, S. (2012). Intimacy in long-distance relationships over video chat. In Proceedings of the 2012 ACM annual conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems - CHI ’12. https://doi.org/10.1145/2207676.2207785