A Letter To The Emotionally Wounded Child Who Acts Like Everything Is Okay

24 January, 2019
Don't worry. That scarred child that you now are will give way to a strong and resilient adult. This adult will know how to make the most out of everything with a smile. You will know how to make the most of life's most precious moments.

I realize that what you’re going through is extremely difficult. You’re only 8, but you’ve learned to expertly conceal your emotions and find strength in many different ways.

You’re hurt, a child with a wounded soul. All of the pain is due to a series of unfortunate circumstances that you have been forced to confront at such a young age.

Maybe your parents’ relationship isn’t healthy. Perhaps you’ve witnessed their arguments, their hate towards one another. They may even drag you, an unwilling participant, into their marital battles.

Maybe they don’t have time for you, or simply have other priorities that rank above you like their career or rest.

For this reason, they leave you with your grandparents, and on the rare occasion that they’re with you, they don’t spend the quality time with you that you need.

The Wounds of an Emotionally Battered Child Continually Sting 

The Wounds of This Emotionally Battered Child Continually Sting 

Despite all of this, no one understands how what’s taking place around you is affecting you.

Many people believe that children live in the moment and easily forget things, like painful situations. They claim you live in your “own world.”

However, you know that these pains hurt you deeply. Even though the consequences of that hurt and that pain aren’t being manifested right now, sooner or later, they surely will.

You are in pain; you are pained with a wound that stings and it continually worsens because no one will help you heal it. You simply don’t know how to heal. You don’t have the proper tools to do it. After all, you’re new and inexperienced in this game we call life.

Sometimes, you cry. You cry when you’re in bed, in the dark, while perhaps, in the background, another agonizing argument has erupted between your parents.

Learn More: A happy child is noisy, restless, happy, and wild.

Your Wear a False Adult-like Emotional Mask That Allows You to Bear the Pain

A False Adult-like Emotional Mask That Allows Them to Bear the Pain

Faced with so much confusion and so much suffering that the world would rather ignore, you acquire an adult-like emotional mask. You don’t cry in public, you don’t make a scene, and you don’t show your misery….

You only look on with sorrow at what’s happening around you, and you resign yourself to the current situation. Unfortunately, you can’t do anything, because no one will take you seriously. You’re so young, but at the same time the situation has robbed you of your youth and forced adult behavior out of you.

No one understands you, and no one can see you how you truly are. You begin to understand that everyone’s perception is driven by how you look on the outside. They’re only concerned with the superficial.

However, your family should know and understand you. They should know that you are just pretending that everything is okay, when inside it is really just the opposite. 

They should be worried about you, they really should be! Why would they let this horrible situation hurt you the way it has and not do anything about it?

In the end, you begin to suspect that everyone is just looking out for themselves. They’re looking out for their own benefit and wallowing in their own despair, while they ignore everyone else around them who is being affected the same way.

Read: The best way to teach is through example

All Experiences, Whether Good or Bad, Have a Purpose

Experiences, Whether They Be Good or Bad, Have a Purpose

Regardless of how difficult or unfortunate your childhood has been, every aspect of the experience will be for your benefit.

You will mature, and you will learn. Most of all, you will become someone that takes this anguish and turns in into something good. This will be something that will push you forward into your future with a positive mindset.

Truthfully, you will gain resilience. You will understand the value of knowing how to express and clearly identify your emotions. You will learn how to effectively manage them, and, most of all, you will learn how to forgive.

Luckily, you will forgive your parents, because they didn’t know how to do it any better. Also, you will forgive yourself for the moments when you felt guilty. Really, in these moments, you had no reason to feel guilty.

When you realize the trauma that you harbored in your soul, the damage will heal. It will give place to a scar that you will look back on fondly. You will look back on it fondly because you have gained experience from it.

Don’t miss out on: Forgive your parents, they did the best they could!

The emotional injuries of childhood are the most painful and difficult to mend. However, they will not be the only emotional injuries you will have to deal with.

All throughout life you will have to deal with sores or additional injuries. These can perhaps open up that which you thought to be long since closed.

Don’t worry. That scarred child that you now are will give way to a strong and resilient adult. This adult will know how to make the most out of everything with a smile. You will know how to make the most of life’s most precious moments.

  • Williams, J. G. (2013). The Psychology of Childhood to Maturity. Butterworth-Heinemann.
  • Hunt, T. K., Slack, K. S., & Berger, L. M. (2017). Adverse childhood experiences and behavioral problems in middle childhood. Child abuse & neglect, 67, 391-402.
  • McDougall, T. (2011). Mental health problems in childhood and adolescence. Nursing Standard (through 2013), 26(14), 48.