It’s the little things that make the difference

· June 24, 2016

Generally we aren’t aware of the fact that it’s not the extraordinary things that are the most important – but rather the small things and the people that surround us every day – until it’s too late.

Ten out of ten people love the small details in life.  These small details don’t need important dates or cliches, and they feed off of our daily lives to create a long list of reasons to keep going.  They give us reasons to feel humbled and help us learn how to care for the people we love.

This is because it’s the small things that have the biggest impact.  They are what show strength in others and they’re what bring huge smiles to our faces.  The small details are always the most important because they are what make us grow and be better every day.

The little things are what truly make us fall in love with life

Couple sleeping together

It’s the small things that we fall in love with because they make the difference and they give life the status that it deserves.  They are the reflection of the greatness in people and our ability to love constantly and unconditionally.

But the truth is, we win the lottery every day, in every second and every small detail.  Details like getting up every day and having someone you love by your side.  Details like falling into a fit of laughter, conversations that last until 3 am, or the sight of the sunset.

What is truly important and what keeps us alive is the day to day.  But you can only realize this if you lose something, or if something goes wrong.  This last point is extremely important because whenever something goes wrong, whenever you’re disappointed, there’s still something that comes alive inside.

Small details make great moments

Small daily things

Following a diet, going to the gym or being productive at work are all great daily objectives, but that leaves out something that’s even more important: you must become a collector of emotional moments.

This is because emotional moments are what bring happiness to life.  In order to get used to this you could start by keeping a daily emotional journal in which you jot down whether or not you had a special moment, which will reflect your feelings and emotions.

After a few days of collecting this type of situations, you’ll be surprised by how you become more aware of your relationships. Thanks to the effort you make you will strengthen your ties with other people, because doing so for quite some time can make a great difference in life.

It could also help you to be more attentive to creating a “love map” for people close to you.  Your brain will store this information so that you feel more familiar with the details of other people’s lives.

Couple looking at the stars

Details to point out in your “love map”

Below we’re going to list what psychologist John Gottman proposes we need to know when creating our list of small details:

  • The favorite dish of a loved one.
  • Their favorite movies, TV shows and books.
  • At least two people that they admire deeply.
  • Their favorite animals.
  • Their ideal vacation spot.
  • The first thing they would buy if they won the lottery.
  • Something that you could do to improve your relationship with him/her.
  • What he/she would like to change about you.
  • What is their favorite way to spend the afternoon at home.
  • What activity does he/she feel most competent in.
  • What their secret ambitions are.
  • In what way does he/she wish to improve him/herself.
  • What are their favorite restaurants.
  • What type of literature does he/she prefer.
  • What is their favorite thing to do while sick.
  • What would their ideal birthday gift be.
  • What currently worries or stresses them.
  • What is their favorite way of getting your attention.
  • What is their most desired, unfulfilled dream.
  • What does he/she feel most proud about.

Men like small details as well

Couple looking at each other on the bed

A lot of times people have the wrong idea that most men aren’t interested in the small things.  They don’t appear to appreciate small or subtle things, and they consider certain things to be a waste of time. But they do appreciate the small things, just as women do.

That’s why we need to defend them in that they, too, deserve things that give them hope, like words, kisses, or unexpected hugs.  They want to be surprised too, because they deserve love too.

Whether you’re a man or a woman, you need to appreciate the people that are around you every day.  One good way of doing so is to notice their differences in small details, bring special care and attention to the matter.

It is absolutely necessary that you make the people you love feel special.  Show them that they matter to your life, because from day to day people forget that it’s important to show affection and to make others see that they are important to you.

This is, undoubtedly, something that keeps love fresh.

Reader’s note:

  • If you are interested in how to improve communication within your relationships, read works by authors John M. Gottman and Joan DeClaire.  These books can be incredibly enriching and will help improve the quality of your relationships.
  • Photos courtesy of Puuung.