What to Do if You Love a Married Man

Getting into the middle of a marriage can have serious emotional and family consequences. In this article, we'll tell you about these consequences and give you some suggestions. Various circumstances make you listen to your heart instead of reason and thus fall for a married man, but an intelligent woman can always find a way out.
What to Do if You Love a Married Man

Last update: 25 August, 2018

The love of your life should ideally be single and able to give you the stability and time you deserve. However, hearing “I love a married man” is quite common among many young women.

In this article, we’ll show you which factors have an influence and how to get out of the situation.

The heart isn’t easy to control and our feelings dominate almost every situation in our lives. You can’t take it back, but you can change your destiny if you’re smart with your actions.

Many women, at some point in their lives, have set their eyes on a person who’s taken. You may just feel really good when you’re with him. The problem is when you lose control over your willpower, self-esteemand freedom.

Why do I love a married man?

Love a Married Man

There are many reasons why women are attracted to married men. Here are some factors that can make you settle for a relationship in which you’re the mistress:

  • Low self-esteem: You feel emotionally demoralized or unmotivated and see “something” in that person that fills that void.
  • Idealization: He has an attractive personality, he’s most likely a lot older than you, and has achieved an academic or social status worthy of admiration. He’s just very successful.
  • Compassion: Things like “I feel misunderstood”, “My marriage is a failure”, or “If only I would have met you before…” may pull at your heartstrings and you may decide to be this “poor man’s” lifeline.
  • Expectations: You don’t have a defined life plan and get enchanted by the projects he presents to you while “he finds the right time to fix things”.
  • Loneliness: You only want company, your children are probably all grown up, you have economic stability, have had bad experiences, and don’t want a serious commitment.
  • Personality: You feel adrenaline because you’re doing something that you shouldn’t. You see the relationship as a game in which you have to fight for first place. You’re attracted to the risk.

Did you know? Have You Been Unfaithful? This Is What You Should Do


sad woman

Unfortunately, loving a married man and accepting everything that it entails comes with a few things that spell bad news.

  • You’ll always be in the back seat. You’ll be a shadow in his social life and a non-entity on special dates.
  • Also, you’ll waste precious time between meeting him, falling in love, listening to his promises, and trying to forget him.
  • A loved one will hardly support your decision of being with a married man, which means sleepless nights, a lot of tears, anger, loneliness, and isolation.
  • If the truth comes to light, you may lose the trust of important family members and friends, and your reputation will be irreparably tarnished.
  • In the unlikely event that he ends up with you, you’ll always be considered a homewrecker. Also, if he’s unfaithful, you must understand the other woman because you were once in her place.

Want to know more? 3 Steps to Forget an Impossible Relationship

What to do?

group of friends

You fell in love with a married man, you can’t turn back time, and you don’t want to keep on wasting time in this vicious cycle. You’re filled with frustrated love, anger, guilt, emptiness, loneliness, and isolation.

How do you fix this?

  • Analyze how you’re feeling, where you’re going, and how you see yourself in five years. Is this what you wanted for yourself?
  • Stop talking to him and avoid situations and places where you may see him.
  • Cry until you have no more tears left. It’s better to suffer a little now than sentencing yourself to an entire life of suffering.
  • Talk to a friend who can comfort you and give you some advice. Two heads are better than one. If possible, seek professional help.
  • Think about your personal goals and focus on new life projects.
  • Expand your social circle, go to more get-togethers, and remember that there are many more fish in the sea.

Love is supposed to make us happier, and the phrase “I love a married man” likely will not lead you to happiness.

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