It’s never easy to start over. It’s leaping into the unknown. It’s taking a breath and saying goodbye to the people and things that you need to leave behind.
It’s quite possible that you may have had to start over more than once. Maybe this “reboot” was the result of an issue at work, something more personal, or with family.
Something that can stop us from taking the plunge and searching for our own happiness is thinking that “it’s too late” and that being a certain age means that we have to give in and put up with how things are because our opportunities have already passed us by.
This simply isn’t true. It’s never too late to start over and find your own happiness. In fact, it’s your obligation to be happy.
We’d like you to take a few moments to reflect on this series of tips for starting over, no matter what the problem may be.
Starting over at any age
Think about your future and who you want to be
If you’re full of doubts, worry or fear, try the following visualization exercise: imagine yourself in 2 years, but imagine yourself happy, complete and at peace.
Now, evaluate how you feel. Rather than seeking out this ideal of happiness, remember that just having inner peace, balance and wholeness is enough in this life. If you’re not feeling these types of things in your life, you need to initiate a change. You deserve to give yourself another chance.
Also read: Stay with the People who Appreciate You.
Start with small, short-term goals
All changes require making small decisions that will get you closer to your goals little by little. These are some examples of smaller goals that we should set for ourselves:
- Today, I’m going to control my anxiety and my worry. Since I already know I’m starting over, I take on this responsibility and accept my decision. I’m going to transform my fears into inner peace and determination.
- Today, I’m going to search for more information about how I can help myself start over (job openings, help from social services and other official organizations).
You’re not as alone as you think: look for the right support
Of course beginning again brings new fears and anxiety. One way to find strength is to feel we have someone supporting us that understands the new path we’ve undertaken.
- Be smart when looking for support. Family and friends may not give the best advice and may even suggest that you “don’t do it” or “hold off for a little longer.”
- If you’ve made the decision to start over, look for the support of people who have gone through something similar. They’ll be able to offer you the best advice and support.
The future isn’t written in stone and tomorrow is filled with new opportunities
If the past serves one purpose, it’s to teach us and offer us wisdom. You’re wise in experiences and life’s lessons. This gives you extra courage, a powerful weapon.
- When we take a step towards change, everything is incredibly new, but change isn’t bad. It may frighten us, but change gives us the chance to reach for our dreams.
- What we all want more than anything is to feel good about ourselves, free from anxiety, tears and failure. These things don’t determine who you are, but give you the motivation to keep going to find your success.
Get rid of limiting thoughts and attitudes
- “I’m too old, I’ll never be able to find a job.” Think about what your skills are and be creative when it comes to “selling” yourself. More than just looking for a job, it helps you get in touch with yourself. Make use of your creativity.
- “I’ve never been alone and I’ll just settle.” Leave this limiting thought behind and remember that being single is a reflection of your freedom, which is exactly what you need to create your own happiness.
- “I know I’ll fail and everything will go wrong.” Toss this idea. You’re not a psychic and that means you can’t guess at what will or will not happen. Keep in mind that thoughts generate emotions, and a negative thought will lead to the same type of fatalistic attitude.
- “Nobody supports me and it won’t be worth the effort anyway.” Don’t reinforce these types of ideas. The most important source of support that you need to count on comes from within. After that comes good friends, family and the other people in your life who offer you their support to help you build a new life.
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Little by little, you’ll realize that it’s all been worth it. Starting from “scratch” isn’t easy or simple, but remember that you deserve to be happy and to be able to leave those days of darkness and pain behind.