How to Recognize When Your Partner Is Cheating on You

Often, we project our fears onto our partners. If you're noticing more jealous behavior than normal, your partner might be cheating.
How to Recognize When Your Partner Is Cheating on You

Last update: 08 May, 2021

Before taking making assumptions about something that isn’t true, it’s important to keep your eyes open and communicate with your partner afterward to discuss the situation.

Remember, these types of situations are one of the main reasons for breakups. While some couples are able to overcome it, others believe that it’s more than enough reason to end a relationship.

Despite the suspicions, we can’t always know if our partner is being unfaithful or not. However, there are certain actions and changes that can flag infidelity.

Has your partner been distant, or do you feel like things are different from how they used to be? Does your partner tell you that he or she loves you while giving you reason to be suspicious? Below, we’ll share some key signs for identifying a cheating partner.

The affection is long gone

Your Partner Is Cheating on You

Sure, falling into a routine can impact any romantic relationship. However, in the case of cheating, the bond that holds the couple together suffers continuous and obvious blows.

Your partner isn’t affectionate with you like he or she used to be. Your partner doesn’t seek out physical or sexual contact and, despite being by your side, he or she seems miles away.

  • This is a common situation if there’s been a recent cheating incident. Just being with another person eliminates the physical and emotional need from the partner.

They make excuses to be alone

In order for any relationship to work, both members need to have some alone time. Hanging out with other friends or setting some self-time is completely normal.

However, there’s a problem when your partner starts to give you a million and one excuses to be by themselves more and more. Overtime at work, spontaneous hangouts with friends, business trips, etc…

  • In wanting to spend time with the other person, you partner feels the need to lie and justify their absence.

New habits at certain times

New habits at set hours

If you start to notice that your partner’s trying out new things, especially at a certain time, there’s reason to suspect. A phone call, messages, or a “casual” hangout can be clear sign of their cheating.

Why does your partner have to go out at the same time every time? Could it be possible that your partner is working around the schedule of another person? If you notice nervous behavior or any rushing to avoid suspicion, your partner might be hiding something.

Hiding phone activity

Does your partner often step out for a phone conversation? Do they prefer to not pick up while telling you that it’s to avoid interruptions? If you don’t have anything to hide, there’s nothing to worry about. If your partner starts to hide their phone activity, maybe it’s to hide something.

You should always have a certain level of trust toward your partner regarding their phone activity. However, when they become defensive about it or start acting strangely, it could be a warning sign.

Worrying too much about their appearance

Worrying too much about appearance

At first, you might think that your partner’s just trying to look good for you. However, if you notice them worrying too much, while not really caring about your reaction, they might actually be trying to look  good for someone else.

A different look, excessive perfume or cologne, or new clothes can just be the beginning. However, sometimes people just look for a change. You need to know how to recognize if there’s a sexual motive.

Sudden bursts of jealousy

Many people who cheat fear a cheating partner themselves. Just thinking about it can make them even more jealous than they normally are.

If your partner suddenly becomes jealous of a friend or any person in your circle, it could be because they’re just mirroring their own actions. Your partner might constantly ask if you like someone else more, or if that the person who you met before is looking for something more.



In many cases, the guilt that arises from cheating produces nervousness and anxiety. The complexity of the situation, and not knowing how to manage nor solve it, can drive your partner to visible lows.

You might start to notice strange behavior or a loss of interest in hobbies. The stress of hiding something from you begins to change who your partner once was.

Do you think you’re partner’s being unfaithful?

Do you think that the indicators of infidelity are high? In that case, if you already have enough reasons to think that your partner is unfaithful, talk to them. Expose your point of view of the situation -with respect- and value the answers you receive. It’s very important that you both have the opportunity to talk about the situation and discuss your perceptions, needs, and desires for the future.

If you find it difficult to address the issue or to approach your partner for a calm conversation, then consider seeing a psychologist and starting couples counseling. Even if you decide not to continue together, it’s a good idea to close the cycle in a healthy way.

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