Things to Consider if You’re Having a Son

· June 9, 2016
When having a son, there are some important things to consider, especially when it comes to gender stereotypes and teaching your children that they can pursue any life they choose.

Having a child is a big step and life-changing for any mother and father, who might see a small reflection of themselves in this new being. If they are having a son, they will strive to give the world a brave young man who is happy and prepared to make others happy as well.

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All children are precious and valuable, whether they are boys or girls. Therefore, we should love them and teach them alike. Nevertheless, there are some things we should consider when having a son because sometimes raising boys can be a bit different.

Children are never carbon copies of their parents. They have their own character and voice, and you must learn to guide them to be responsible, mature, and happy.

Having a Son: Challenges and Strategies

First and foremost, it’s important that you not perpetuate or encourage gender stereotypes. Therefore, raising boys and girls should be based on gender quality. Additionally, parents should have an open mind so their child feels free to express themselves and grow into the person they truly are.

The tips we want to highlight today depend on the needs of each child, but they do include some basic tools that can help and guide you. If you’re having a son, you may want to make the following considerations:

Little boy in bowtie and suspenders smiling happy having a son

He doesn’t need to be macho

If you’re having a son, you shouldn’t teach him that he needs to be the strongest, smartest, or bravest. Teach him to be himself. One mistake that many families make is falling into the stereotypes of sex and gender that we mentioned above.

  • Some people will want their son to be the best football player, the smartest in the class, or the most outgoing, fearless, and have a lot of friends. That’s not a good tactic.
  • Do with your son what you would with your daughter: let him be what he chooses for himself, let him do what he wants to do with his free time, and allow him to design the dreams he wants to achieve.
  • You don’t need to point your son toward a particular sport if he’s not interested or doesn’t like it.
  • Understand your child and remember that he isn’t a miniature copy of yourself.
  • You can teach him about the things that you like, you can guide him toward certain interests, and you can expose him to certain things, but don’t force something on him that he doesn’t want.

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A son also has the right to be sad

Sons aren’t born being stronger than daughters, nor are they invincible. Another mistake that some parents may make is telling their son, “Be a man and stop crying.”

  • Boys, just like girls, need to vent their emotions. Let them cry if they need to.
  • It’s important that you encourage adequate emotional communication in your son. Try to establish a relationship of trust from the getgo.
  • Never make fun of the things that they tell you, and that includes their ideas, dreams, emotions, or desires. If your son sees that you criticize or mock him, he’s likely to stop trusting you.

Mother and son playing in field during sunset having a sonA son will seek his space early on

Boys tend to go back and forth between the need for attachment and pampering, and the extreme desire to be left alone and exercise their rights and freedom. This is something that will happen early, so it’s very important to keep this mind when having a son.

  • You must be patient and maintain your bargaining power. Boys will respond negatively to a simple ban on something, so you’ll have to persuade them to understand why they can’t do certain things yet.
  • It’s also important to teach your son how to accept responsibility if he’s requesting more space or certain rights.
  • That’s why, just as you would with a daughter, you need to give him responsibilities starting when he is very young.
  • There are certain tasks and responsibilities that he must be held accountable for. For example,  keeping his room clean, helping out with the house cleaning, taking care of the pets, or caring for his things.
Blond mother kissing baby son on the cheek

Having a Son is a Beautiful Thing

To conclude, having a son is both a precious gift and a challenge. His education will be based on your understanding of his needs and good emotional communication. This will help him always trust you.

Respecting who he is and what he likes on a daily basis will provide a good example for him to follow. As he becomes more independent and mature enough to fight for his dreams, he’ll know that you’ll be there to support him every day of his life.

As mothers and fathers, we love both our sons and daughters equally. Therefore, we must educate them both to have the same rights and responsibilities. It’s incredibly important.

  • Eccles, J. S., Jacobs, J. E., & Harold, R. D. (1990). Gender role stereotypes, expectancy effects, and parents' socialization of gender differences. Journal of social issues46(2), 183-201.
  • O'reilly, A. (2002). Mothers and sons: Feminism, masculinity, and the struggle to raise our sons. Routledge.