Goodbye Prince Charming, I Prefer a Real Person

· August 15, 2017
  Instead of looking for prince charming to save you and shower you with love, you should learn to love yourself before anything else. This is the only way to be able to establish a truly happy relationship.

I’ve searched a long time for that prince charming that we’ve seen in fairy tale movies since we were young.  Nonetheless, I haven’t been able to find him for some reason.

All of my relationships have been painful, didn’t meet my expectations and in many cases, I depended on my partner to feel happy and secure.

I searched exhaustively for prince charming until I realized that he wasn’t real. My search for him caused me to submerge myself in relationships filled with lies and false illusions.

The Big Lie About Prince Charming

We all know the story of how prince charming saves the princess that finds herself trapped in a tall tower or threatened by a dragon.

That charming, courteous, respectful, heroic prince, whose prize for his noble act is a princess who can’t help herself and can’t be happy unless a prince comes to her rescue.

Because of this, we have grown to believe the notion that we need someone to make us happy. That’s why a significant other has become so important and being alone has become a terrible thing we flee from.

If nobody loves us, we can’t feel loved; if nobody wants us, we can’t feel wanted. Is it that we need recognition from others in order to be something?

All of this has triggered a great epidemic that plagues our century. This plague is referred to as emotional dependency.  

We cling to our significant other thinking that we are head over heels in love. We bind ourselves to them because of our great fear of losing them.

Without that person we are nothing, we lose our identity. Why does this happen? Because we have allowed for the other person to define who we are and for them to make us happy. 

We have given all of that responsibility to our prince charming who on more that one occasion, didn’t react as we expected.

It’s Okay to be Alone

Have you ever used someone to avoid feeling alone?  Maybe your first response is “no”, but if you have jumped from one relationship to another, then most likely your answer is “yes”.

After a breakup, we should allow ourselves to be alone.  Our wounds have to heal and that takes time.

It’s true that the word “alone” is scary, really scary. But have you asked yourself why? Do you settle for people who fill the void while you wait for your prince charming to come along?

Regardless, he will not come, not only because he doesn’t exist, but because you are not learning to be by yourself.

You’re scared.  Maybe you suffered a lot as a child and you carry with you a lack of affection. It hurts to be alone, right? Nonetheless, pain can be very healing.

We cannot attempt to love another person if we don’t learn how to love ourselves first. We cannot bind ourselves to people who in reality we don’t even like. Those types don’t fulfill us how we want them to.

Settling should never be the answer. You deserve the best and it’s okay to be alone. In fact, it can actually be very rewarding.

Practice Detachment

When you become too attached to your partner and you give them an importance in your life that is unreciprocated, you suffer greatly, because when they leave, your life ends.

But if you think about it, this doesn’t happen with friends, teachers and other relationships, that for one reason or another end up drifting apart.

A significant other is everything to you, but in reality, that’s not the case. Stop waiting for a prince charming to make you happy.

One day, just maybe, an ordinary person will come along. Not to make you happy or fill your voids, but to set out on a beautiful journey with you.

If the relationship doesn’t work out, it’s okay! Let it go. Your life won’t end because somebody decided to leave, or because things didn’t work out or things changed.

You are complete, you can save yourself and you’re no longer in an intense search for someone to fulfill your every need.  Because you know what?

No one can give what you need better than yourself. If you don’t do it, prepare to experience what it feels like to suffer for “love.” Others may disappoint you.

Will you start loving yourself and stop waiting for someone else to do it?