Good People Have Wounded Hearts

Good people put the needs of others before their own. But sometimes they need to know when to say “no” to prevent overwhelming themselves along with negative thoughts.

As good people, we don’t know what we are, we don’t understand that our good work is based on always searching for the good of others, rather than our own. This is the way we understand life, it’s what defines us and this is what makes us different.

Keeping this in mind, there’s something that often happens with this type of behavior and thinking of the day-to-day. Sometimes this type of humility leads people to abandon their own sense of “self-protection”, which all people need to cultivate by developing their own self-esteem and self-love.

Giving everything you have for others is an act of nobility, but you should never forget that by doing so, you could leave yourself empty.  Not only that, but others may not understand every effort that you make.  So let’s take a deeper look.

Good people have wounded hearts

woman pink drawing representing good people

At first some people might wonder who we consider to be a good person or not.  Obviously there are always shades to everything.  Who we’re talking about are people that practice doing good, respect, and integrating themselves with others.

So when talking about good people in the purest of senses, one could say:

  • These personalities generally don’t know how to say “no”.  Whenever someone asks them for something, they are able to set their own priorities aside to help.
  • They don’t think about who to help and who not to help.  They help family members, friends, work associates…they always have time for others.
  • These people are empathetic, able to feel pain and emotions in others, and they even feel the pain from the world.
  • They are sensitive, social and always notice that the days should have more hours to do more things.

I’m sure you can identify with some of this and you could also know more than one person that thinks of his/her life in this way. Something that always happens to these people is that a certain moment will come when their hearts carry more weight than happiness.

When other people take things for granted and don’t appreciate their effort

As said at the beginning: there will be a time when other people take for granted the fact that you’re always there, always available to help, take action, or console them.

  • Anytime that someone takes your kindness for granted, a problem is born: people stop looking at your face, and at your heart.  They don’t understand that there may be a day when you’re not doing so great.
  • Or even worse, they may not realize that every day you take less and less care of yourself.  They may not realize that you need more time and that you also have t he right to say no, and place yourself as a priority.
  • Slowly, not only will you get tired physically, but you will also tire emotionally as well.  When you start to feel like people are pushing you beyond your limits, you will start to feel overwhelmed and stressed.
  • For good people, this type of overload is even more dangerous.  Why?  Because they realize that some people are starting to forget that they too have needs and rights, which is extremely destructive if this comes from a partner or family member.

Wounds we hide in order to appear strong

Good people oftentimes do not complain.  They don’t complain because they don’t want to seem negative.  They’re used to being optimistic, to having energy and to being emotionally available.

  • After some time, their hearts will start to store disappointments and letdowns.  They have seen just how far other people’s egos can go.
  • The worst of all is that sometimes good people feel responsible for their own wounds.  Often times they could find themselves thinking the following thoughts:

“This is happening to me because I trust too much, this is happening because I’m stupid and let other people take advantage of me…”

You should never let yourself fall prey to these destructive thoughts.  You risk becoming defensive and losing your self-esteem.  Do not let this happen.

figure with a heart representing good people

Good people have the right to say “NO” as well

Just accept this today: you will never be a bad person, nor will you ever be full of yourself, if you sometimes let yourself say “NO”.

  • Saying no means you are putting limits to protect yourself and your emotional health.
  • A well-timed “NO” helps others to understand that you are a person with needs as well, and that just like everyone else, you deserve care and respect.
  • Setting limits also helps to protect you and to cultivate time for yourself.  Always remember that giving everything to others could leave you empty.  Save a part of yourself for yourself, to be good.

Because if you are good, you will be able to continue helping others, showing others your vision of life: doing good, giving the gift of smiles and optimism.

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