Getting Back Together with an Ex: Does it Cause More Problems than it’s Worth?
Have you ever considered that you might want to get back together with your ex just so you don't have to leave your comfort zone? Believe it or not, this could mean missing out on much more meaningful relationships.
Relationships unearth differences that can end up pointing towards an imminent breakup. However, sometimes you consider trying it again.
Is it a good idea to get back together with an ex?
The truth is that it all depends on what circumstances led to you to end the relationship in the first place and the reasons driving you to try it again.
For example, doing it because you feel lonely is not a valid reason.
What is driving you to get back together with an ex?
One of the reasons people break up is immaturity and a bunch of “silly” differences they weren’t able to deal with.
In this case, getting back together is an option. It’s a chance try again with something you couldn’t resolve the first time.
Other times, the situation is more complicated. We’re talking about when lies and infidelity were a part of the relationship.
Here, love and knowing how to forgive are important factors. You want to give your partner another chance, but you must do it without harboring a grudge.
Otherwise, getting back with your ex could be disastrous.
“Check this out: The Difficulty of Moving on From a Breakup”
Sometimes we decide to give it another try because there are kids in the picture. You think it’s worth it, but you have to really want it. Don’t do it just for your kids. Do it for yourself, too.
Many couples decide to get back together just so they don’t wonder “What if.” Whether it works out or not, at least you wouldn’t wonder anymore.
If you want to get back with an ex, go ahead! It can be a very good thing. You know more or less what to expect and may feel a stronger bond after having gone through a tough time.
However, make sure that this isn’t a step backwards, but instead a step forward.
The cons of getting back together with an ex
1. Things aren’t the same anymore
Let’s say there was unfaithfulness and trust has been completely broken. There’s no way things can be like they were before.
As much as you both try, as good as your intentions may be, that deep wound remains.
Trying it again, then, will just be a constant fight and disappointment. Your hopes will never be fulfilled. Nothing will be like before, so think twice about whether you want to be in this new situation or not.
2. It keeps you from growing
When you get back with your ex, you are taking a big step back. You’ve tried it over and over again and you know there’s no future. But you still keep trying.
What you’ll be missing is the chance to meet new people. You’ll be closing doors and tying yourself to a relationship that belongs in the past.
Maybe you’re afraid to break out of your comfort zone, or maybe you’re afraid you’ll end up alone.
3. The pain could be worse
Relationships break down due to conflicts, issues you try to avoid out of fear of losing it all.
Having to forgive too much and trying again when you should be letting go may lead to resentment and anger, along with deep unhappiness.
4. Be careful with dependence
Sometimes, we get back together with our ex because our self-esteem is low and this has caused a certain level of dependence.
This means that you feel incomplete without a relationship. When you don’t find one, you cling to the one you had in the past.
Dependence doesn’t just undermine relationships, but people, too.
“Before you go, don’t miss: Codependent Relationships: Bonds that Hurt”
Getting back together with an ex is a decision that should be very well thought through. It’s not easy. The issues that led to the breakup really matter.
As long as you’re sure, not holding any grudges, not wanting to “give them a taste of their own medicine,” and not doing it just so you’re not alone, go ahead.
Getting back with an ex could be one of the best decisions of your life. You could realize that they are actually the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
The key is to make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.