Don’t lose your identity and don’t let yourself down. Don’t stop being you to get someone else to like you. If you do, you’ll inevitably be sabotaging yourself.
When we meet a person and want to get to know them better, we want to make a good impression. This, at times, leads us to act unnaturally.
However, this attitude makes you lie to yourself and also to the person you want to impress. You’ll fill their expectations with lies and they’ll believe that they’re attracted to certain things about you that you’ve, in fact, faked.
Don’t stop being yourself, or else you end up in a relationship based on false love.
The magic of every beginning
The beginning of a relationship is magical. Everything seems to effortlessly flow in a mystical way. However, over time this fades away. Suddenly, you have to make an effort to do things that you didn’t have to do before.
Perhaps you’ve come to this moment because you became the other person’s ideal. This is because you wanted to affirm the expectations that they had about you. Then, sooner or later, this had to end.
In this situation, not only do you fall in love with someone you expect to fit into your ideals, but you yourself try to make the other person fall in love with you by becoming what they want.
Where has your authenticity gone? What happened to the real you? You’ve tried to camouflage your true identity in any way possible to submerge yourself into false love.
All those connections you created with the other person were false. Your fear of not having them like you or your flaws frightening them away caused you to not act like yourself.
The importance of being assertive
It’s essential to reveal your true likes and interests and to show your true character from the first moment that you share with the person you like
You don’t have to hide what you dislike. If you do so, then this will leave your partner very confused. After all, as time goes by, you’ll begin to suddenly start mentioning the things you dislike that they didn’t know about.
Take this brief example: imagine that the person you’re dating smokes. They’ve had this habit almost forever and you’ve never expressed your disagreement with it.
But, one day, you’re very upset. You get angry, you shout and you tell them off for not realizing that you don’t like that they smoke. Their answer will undoubtedly be “I didn’t think it bothered you. You never complained.”
We could give you more similar examples that will do nothing but make it clear how you must be assertive.
The problem is that you don’t realize that you deceive people in your eagerness to please them.
Don’t miss: 5 Traits of Assertive People
The problems that arise when you start to be yourself
Everything goes smoothly until you start to be yourself. After all, the mask you wear can’t be kept on for long.
This is when conflicts arise. The connection between you and your partner has now changed. Now, you’re being assertive, but it’s too late.
There are aspects of your partner’s personality that you start to dislike, but your partner experiences the same thing. You then start to complain about things that didn’t bother you before.
Arguments, anger, and conflicts appear, and there’s no turning back.
All of this exhausts you. You think you no longer love your partner, that your love has faded away. However, you don’t realize that all this is the product of the false love that you both created.
Don’t stop being yourself even if you’re tempted. It’s difficult to be aware of how you’re acting at first, but you must make the effort to do this so you don’t end up being frustrated, hurt and disappointed.
Don’t be afraid to show the real you. Whoever falls in love with you must fall in love with your true self, not the mask you’ve put on to grab this person’s attention.
If you can’t be who you really are around the person you love from the beginning, it’s not worth staying with them.
Be yourself and you’ll be rewarded with the relationship you’ve always wanted.