Don't Prioritize Those Who Don't Value You

Know your value and learn to demand the respect you deserve. Don't prioritize those who don't value and love you for who you truly are.

Written and verified by the psychologist Raquel Aldana.

Last update: 30 May, 2022

Don’t prioritize those who don’t value you enough. Give yourself the importance that you deserve and offer your affection to those who love you unconditionally without selfish motives.

After all, selfishness usually doesn’t turn into gratefulness, no matter how much you hope for it. Don’t risk your well-being by subjugating it to what other people want.

When a relationship is healthy and meaningful, it’s easy to keep things balanced. Nevertheless, we often cover our eyes and let ourselves go, not realizing what is truly going on. When we are living in the dark, we don’t listen to our needs.

Prisoners of selfishness

At times, we will be the object of someone else’s selfishness. Others may not truly value us. It often takes us a while to realize this. We let ourselves get carried along by the inertia of the relationship.

Nevertheless, little by little, we sabotage our present by nourishing hopes about a change that probably won’t come. In other words, anyone who doesn’t love and value you is going to have a very hard time doing so later “by some magical act.”

We need to realize that people don’t change, and it’s up to us to fight for the value we deserve. A bad partner’s on-and-off affection tells us that something isn’t working right. It’s our sign that it’s time to move on.

We all experience pain

Time is a great teacher. It’s responsible for opening our eyes, helping us to get the right perspective, and helping us make sense of our mistakes. It isn’t easy at all. In fact, the pain is sometimes unbearable.

This is emotional pain, a pain that torments our brain. Deception, betrayal, dishonesty, break-ups, or the loss of loved ones cause great suffering that tears us up inside.

This kind of affliction has been around for centuries. It can be found in the lines of poems and songs that draw us into a world that we can all relate to.

Psychological pain is physical pain

Nowadays, these songs and poems have gotten support from neurophysiological studies. These studies confirm that psychological pain is felt on a cerebral level.

Curiously, when our “heart breaks” and our emotions ignite in our bodies, the same areas of our brain that experience pain are activated. That’s why we can really say that love hurts.

Our minds suffer a great depression in moments of pain when something inside us breaks.

This is one reason to stop belittling our emotional wounds and to forget the idea that they will simply disappear with time.

We bury our relationship problems. This causes the pain to grow and complicates the resolution of conflicts.

Hiding does nothing to help us. Hiding from our relationship problems creates a distance that torments our brain and, ultimately, our mind.

After all:

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”

-Catherine Ponder-

No one can take away your dignity

When someone doesn’t value you, it’s time to start thinking about saying goodbye. Your pride is very different from your dignity. If you lose your dignity, you lose yourself, and you damage your identity.

Relationships that are based on respect and balance are the most authentic, free, solid and enriching.

Sometimes, we lose our dignity because we think it will come right back to us. Or, we freeze up and don’t know how to respond to complicated situations that involve manipulation or subjugation. In other words, we’re used to prioritizing people who don’t value us because we find ourselves “alienated” by an unbalanced relationship.

You shouldn’t have to beg for love, attention, and care. Make sure that the people in your life value and love you for who you truly are.