Finding Peace in the Storms of Life

· June 29, 2016
The storms of life are moments in which we are forced to look for solutions and peace. We can also get dragged into other people's storms, and we must know how to keep our emotional distance

In life it’s important to differentiate between your own problems, and those of other people. You also need to learn to identify negative thoughts and find solutions that you are satisfied with. It’s all about finding peace in the storms of life.

Some people are capable of creating their own storms, and then they complain when it rains. I’m sure you know people like that. They create their own problems, and later they mourn about being stuck in the pit they have dug for themselves.

The most dangerous thing in these situations is that they will drag other people into their own obsessions and moral or personal dilemmas. They make you feel responsible, and make you feel you have to take on problems that are not your own. Don’t let people do this to you.

This is quite common, especially in immature and dependent people. Creating storms in times of peace, however, is something that we’ve all suffered from at some point in our lives. They’ve often happened to us in times of insecurity.

Read more: How to Think Independently and Boost Self Esteem

Coping with the storms of life

Some days it’s easy to get obsessed about things and not really know why. “What am I going to do if this doesn’t work out?” we ask ourselves. Or we lament that nothing ever goes our way and we’re always going to be unhappy.

These small examples are situations, thoughts, and ideas that you could easily fall into at certain times in life. Don’t look at them, however, as something traumatic or dangerous.

These storms of life are, in fact, vital moments that will force you to make equally important decisions.

  • Everyone is capable of creating their own storm at any moment. They should, however, only be short periods of weakness. Your self-esteem should help you get back up and take on new projects.
  • Don’t regret having these thoughts. True courage is knowing how to admit that you’re not in a good place, and that in your storm you need peace and light. Reorganize your thoughts.
  • You need to put your feelings aside in order to remember what you truly deserve. No one deserves to walk through life thinking that the world is against them and that destiny has closed all doors forever.
Girls holding their heads avoiding human storms

Cognitive restructuring

Cognitive restructuring is an extremely useful psychological strategy for helping to make these storms of life disappear. All of us could suffer from these storms at any moment.

Sometimes the mind uses these thoughts and your emotional instability, and makes things worse. This is why it’s important to keep these strategies in mind:

  • Every emotion and automatic thought has some place in the brain. So when you notice that you’re not in a good place, grab a notebook and describe what’s going on in your brain.
  • Use words or short phrases. Describe what you feel, what you see, what you notice.
  • This will lead you to a moment when you can “confront” it.
  • Thoughts and negative emotions can appear, such as anger, and feeling that everyone around us is bad.
  • Once you’ve identified the emotion and negative thought, you need to prioritize a solution. You need to instill a positive state of freedom in your mind to help you overcome this.

Protect yourself from storms that are not your own

We have just accepted that we, too, are capable of creating our own storms. We know that this is an internal and personal process, and that we alone are responsible for facing the problem.

One very common problem, however, is that some people are able to pull you into their own problems, their own storms. Don’t let people do this.

  • While you may, at times, experience moments of crises, there are some people that seem to live in a chronic state of crisis.
  • These people are very insecure and need to be appreciated, confirmed, and attended to. They see themselves as incapable of facing problems that they themselves have created.
  • You may have friends, family members, and even a partner who has this kind of personality.
  • In these situations, you become wrapped up in an atmosphere full of negative emotions, which you are then “obliged” to listen to and to try to solve problems that aren’t your own.

Read more: The Four Stages of Life and Their Crises

Girl with apple fighting against foreign storms

Establish boundaries

The best way to act in situations like this is to stay balanced and to establish your own boundaries. You can help them in any way possible, but you need to make it clear that the storms that they create need to be solved by the mind that created them.

Support them, offer them encouragement, but try to make them realize that they are the ones that need to find their own solution. However, be aware that if you help them in this way, they might not be satisfied.

Keep the appropriate emotional distance. You already have your own problems and responsibilities. Don’t carry other people’s weight on your own back, as this will limit your own personal growth. Be sure to tread carefully during the storms of life.