Don’t Let Internal Conflicts Lead to External Issues

· May 30, 2017
There are times that we go against our wishes to avoid conflicts with others. However, it's important to remember the importance of expressing yourself to get rid of internal tension.

Have you ever stopped to think about the possible consequences of avoiding conflicts?

This could be not having an argument or not saying “no” because you don’t want to do something. If so, it’s important to remember that this can lead to even more problems.

You may be making an effort to avoid starting an argument. However, this doesn’t mean that it won’t happen. In other words, you’ll be causing an even worse internal battle. Most of the time, you end up losing.

Avoiding conflicts hurts you

You avoided saying “no” because your were afraid of how the other person would react. But this starts to act in you in a negative way.

You’ll fight over saying “yes” and “no” in your head. You’ll fight over the feelings you have when you feel like you’re on the losing end.

There’s nothing worse than doing something without really feeling like doing it. You’ll feel bad and very sad. But, you know what? This is because deep down, you know that you’re cheating yourself.

This is an easy way to hurt yourself. You always try to not let everyone else down. You also don’t want them to let you down. But, in reality, you don’t have this same respect for yourself.

Avoiding conflicts isn’t worth it. You need to give yourself the priority you deserve. Get rid of the fear of what will happen, what others will say, and how angry others will get.

This isn’t your problem. You need to listen to your heart. Say what you really want.

If you don’t, this becomes a constant problem. Then, you’ll start to deceive yourself again.

Repressing emotions

Emotions have an important role in avoiding conflicts. We forcefully repress them. We bury them so that they don’t get out.

However, doing this doesn’t mean that your emotions won’t get out. As you know, you can try to keep them in. However, they always start to get out after a little prodding.

Sooner or later, you’ll start to lose control.

This could because of several things: not saying what you really want to say, not expressing your opinion because you’re afraid of how others will see you, or not saying what’s bothering you to your partner, friend, or brother, etc.

One after another, these situations will cause you to keep stuffing your emotions in a bag. You’ll keep filling it until it’s completely full.

All of these feelings are negative. When you start to overflow, the bag explodes. This happens in the most unexpected moment, in the worst situation and in the worst possible way.

Having swallowed so much makes it so you end up losing control. A small difference can suddenly become chaos.

Has anyone ever told you “it’s not that bad”? Or even said, “don’t be like that, you’re exaggerating”? Perhaps this is a symptom of your emotional bag exploding.

Don’t poison yourself

Keeping your emotions inside can make your body scream. You can even get strong, unexplained headaches or stomach aches. All of this is a product of repressing your emotions.

Your fears are encouraging you to not show who you really are. You become your own poison. You’ll feel unfaithful to your you principles and to what you want.

Stop agreeing with everyone to avoid conflicts. The negative reaction might never happen. It could just be something you imagine.

Or maybe, it could happen because everyone else knows that you don’t ever say no.

Don’t hurt yourself anymore. Don’t fear how others will react. Your well-being should be the most important. This also goes for your happiness and what you want.

Learn to put yourself first for once. Don’t do something you don’t want to do say something you don’t want to say.

Don’t think so much. Don’t worry so much. The worst storms happen in our imaginations.


Illustrations: Agnes Cecile

Main image courtesy of ©