9 Tips to Help You Accept Loneliness

06 December, 2018
Although we may be afraid of being alone, loneliness can help us to grow as a person and get to know ourselves. Learn to accept loneliness.

“Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition. Man is the only being who knows he is alone.” -Octavio Paz 

There is nothing good or bad that exists when it comes to loneliness. It all depends on how we choose to use our time alone. Therefore, we need to learn to accept loneliness.

In fact, spending enough time alone can benefit us more than you think, as long as you decide to take advantage of these moments in favor of your happiness.

The majority of people, at some point in their lives, have felt afraid of being alone.

Without a doubt, human beings are social beings. Thus, social relationships are vital for our mental health, but why is it that solitude is seen as terrifying for some people and enjoyable for others?

Culturally, the fear of being alone has been created in many societies and it has a negative and distressing perspective. There is a tendency to relate loneliness with bad moods and depression. 

In this article, we’ll share some advice to help change your attitude about these moments spent alone – those that may cause you to feel anxious- into incredible moments with yourself.

Read also: Empty Nest Syndrome: When Loneliness Invades the Home

How to accept loneliness

1. Recognize your fears

Sometimes, it takes a lot out of us to realize that being alone negatively affects us because we use different escapes to ignore our feelings.

Every person is different, which is why it’s difficult to identify the activities that you are doing to “kill time” but that is not helping you reach your goals or making you feel like a more full person.

2. Listen to your body


Without a doubt, your body transmits and registers every emotion that you feel on a daily basis.

When you find yourself alone, try to close your eyes for a few minutes, breathe and listen to your body to figure out where this fear of being alone comes from. And when you do, accept loneliness with an open mind and heart.

3. Declutter your thoughts

Throughout the day, we receive a lot of information through various forms of communication, our friends, co-workers, and family.

Unconsciously, all of this information is passed through our mind. Therefore, it’s necessary to spend time alone so that we can listen to ourselves and get rid of anything that may poorly affect us.

4. Reinvent yourself


When you’re alone, it is normal that boredom can make you feel anything from nostalgic to overwhelmed.

To avoid this, try to do fun activities outside of your usual routine, like learning a new sport.

Read about topics you don’t know anything about, learn a new language or listen to a different genre of music.

Read also: Self-Esteem: The Key to Happiness

5. Write down your priorities

By writing things down everything that you should do and want to do throughout the month, whether on paper or digitally, you give yourself the opportunity to read them during your alone time. This will make it easier to get rid of those restless thoughts and feelings.

Doing this can highlight which of these needs are a priority for you and which might be the priority of someone else.

Remember: the most important person in your life is you.

6. Seek professional help


Taking care of your mental health is vital for feeling harmonious and tranquil with the world and with ourselves in any situation.

In order to do this, it is important to know the origin and the causes of our fears. We can do this through the help of other people, therapy or other alternatives that can help you to live a more peaceful life and accept loneliness.

7. Time alone to grow

Socializing is normal among human beings. There is nothing wrong with making friends and living with other people. However, the fear of being alone usually starts with a dependence on an addiction to those around us.

Acquiring the habit of spending time alone allows for an emotional balance within us that is necessary for us to be happy. 

By doing this, you can understand the root of this dependence that’s keeping you from living a life with mental autonomy, freedom, and health. Little by little, you let go of your need to get other people’s approval

Then, you will start to feel more secure and independent.

8. Disconnect from everything to connect with yourself


Disconnecting yourself from the outside world can be extremely beneficial for connecting with yourself. It will allow you to listen attentively to your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

It’s healthy to ask yourself and question yourself in these moments if you’re happy with yourself. Or if you would like to change something about your life or if you would like to give yourself new goals.

9. Solitude strengthens your personal autonomy

Solitude is an opportunity to pamper yourself and take care of yourself. Enjoy your time alone more often and let yourself discover new abilities. Try to strengthen your personal confidence, grow as an individual, and accept loneliness as part of life.

It may seem incredible, but freedom is one of the most beneficial achievements that comes from solitude.

It allows you to question, learn, unlearn and do the things that really make you feel good.

  • Ibarra, H. (2004). Working identity: Unconventional strategies for reinventing your career. Harvard Business Press.
  • Marc, E. (2011). Guide pratique des psychothérapies. Retz.
  • Paz, O., & Santí, E. M. (1993). El laberinto de la soledad (Vol. 346). Madrid: Cátedra.
  • Salerno, S. (2005). SHAM: How the self-help movement made America helpless. Crown.