Does Your Partner Love You or Use You?

When you start wondering if your partner actually loves you or is just using you, your alarm bells should start ringing. In this article, we talk about different situations.
Does Your Partner Love You or Use You?

Last update: 05 May, 2021

Do you wonder whether your partner loves you or if they’re simply using you? If you do, something in your relationship isn’t quite right. When certain ideas come to us, it’s almost always because we’ve seen or felt something that’s out of the ordinary.

It’s true that sometimes we feel this way because of a misunderstanding, but you should stay alert. You need to put your well-being above the other person.

Sometimes, there’s a fine line between loving and using another person. For that reason, in this article, we show you the key points that will help you learn to recognize people who use others.

Let’s get into it! 

Does your partner love you or are they using you for love?

does your partner love you or are they using you?

On occasion, a partner may use you for love. They may do this through manipulation, emotional blackmail, or by playing the victim, they’ll do anything they can to stop you from breaking up with them, so they don’t have to face their fear of being alone.

This usually happens when there’s a strong emotional dependence. In these cases, it’s essential that you decipher whether they’re with you or because they fear being alone.

Alternatively, it may be that your partner is using you for specific reasons. There are people that use their sentimental partners to make their ex jealous, for financial gain, or even to get a job.

It’s important that you learn to recognize these kinds of people because they can be dangerous. They get close to you thinking that they can manipulate you or that you’re someone with a weak personality. Stay alert and stay away from them as much as you can.

They don’t love me, they’re hurting me

There are other reasons why a person may make you question if they really love you or whether they’re just using you. These are related to physical and verbal attacks, as well as microaggressions.

There are people who don’t know how to love or, sometimes, they do it in a harmful way. These people use others as if they were objects, or they treat them poorly.

A person who mistreats their partner, for example, may be searching for a way to feel superior or authoritative, or exercise power and enjoy the sensation of dominating another. It’s a harmful behavior that undercuts the self-esteem and integrity of the other person.

When it comes to gender-based or domestic violence, it’s important to ask for help. Talk to your family and friends, but above all, don’t isolate yourself. This is what the abuser wants: to leave you without support.

Loveless relationships

a woman looking at her partner, with him looking away, representing a loveless relationship

If you’re asking yourself if your partner loves you or is using you, that’s already a red flag. Generally, human beings are capable of detecting whether something isn’t going well, although we may not want to admit it at first.

It may be that your partner is simply no longer in love, but they continue with you because you maintain the relationship. Also, it could be that they have decided not to break up with you because they’re scared they may not be able to see their children. In these circumstances, it’s important to be honest.

If there’s no love, but there’s still respect, it’s possible to maintain a good relationship. You can get divorced or separated and continue being a source of support for the other person, on both a familiar level (if you share children), and on an economic level (helping them to find a job so that they’re able to support themselves).

Don’t stay with someone who doesn’t respect you

Aside from what we mentioned above, where someone “using you” doesn’t necessarily have to be based on bad intentions, if you think that your partner is using you it’s time to take action. You deserve to be treated better.

You’re a human being and as such, you need to be truly loved by someone who doesn’t have an ulterior motive. Although you love the other person, think to yourself would you really want this for a good friend? for your sibling?

Sometimes observing the situation objectively can help you gain perspective on a complicated situation. It’s clear that, regardless, this person is thinking about that too, not about the damage they’re causing you. So, it’s up to you to stop them.