How to Deal with Disappointment

· September 19, 2017
Disappointment can be terrible. However, it's important to learn to deal with disappointment in a way that can help us to mature.

How do you deal with disappointment? After all, it makes you feel awful and can also cause you to make decisions that aren’t beneficial for you.

It hurts when you’ve been hurt and let down by a person that you trusted. But… what if it was all for the better?

We tend to blame others for letting us down and shattering that trust we had placed in them.

However, we must learn to understand how disappointment actually help us to mature. 

Disappointment can uncover unreasonable expectations

woman with expectations

We all have expectations. However, allowing your expectations to take over may be a mistake. Expecting to get that new job or assuming that certain someone will call you later can provoke feelings of disappointment. After all, what if these things don’t happen?

We assume that everyone around us should act the way we think they should. Sometimes, we may feel that if someone has promised something, they’re bound to keep their word.

Nevertheless, it could be that the friend that didn’t call you simply forgot because she had other things on her mind. Or that job you didn’t get was given to someone that was simply a better fit for it.

Still, once things don’t go the way you expect them to, you can’t avoid feeling sad and disappointed.

Unrealistic expectations can fill your life with a number of unhappy moments. Assuming things will turn out exactly as they were promised only leads to feeling hurt.

It’s impossible for others to act exactly as you would. After all, we’re all different people! There are no assurances because life has it’s fill of twists and turns and can surprise us at any moment.

Promising yourself that things will go exactly as planned only guarantees pain and suffering.

Therefore, disappointment serves as a reminder to stop expecting so much from others and yourself. Don’t create false illusions and simply accept what may come.

Are you giving too much of yourself?


The majority of disappointing situations arise during relationships. After all, for some, a low self esteem can cause you to heavily rely on others for emotional support.

Suddenly, you may find yourself seeking the approval of others. You may only feel happy if those around you deem it or depend on people who you feel are important to you to dictate how you should feel.

If a friend cancels on you, you may feel down. Or, if someone changes your plans last minute, you may be in for a roller coaster of emotions.

Your self-esteem can get so low that you seek emotional refuge in other people. You expect them to provide the approval you need in order to feel happy, even though you’re the one that has to make them feel good and you give too much of yourself to them.

The fact that disappointment  is present in your life is telling you to stop thinking so much about others and start focusing on yourself.

Stop looking for external approval. Stop feeding your low self-esteem. It’s time to put yourself first and to seek the happiness that resides within you.

Because if there’s one thing that’ll definitely cause you a lot of pain and suffering, it’s believing others hold the key to your happiness.

Life is full of lessons

Prioritize yourself

We only learn when something hurts us. When it hurts us so much, we have no choice but to try to heal whatever is causing us such harm.

That’s how disappointment, suffering and emotional pain can help. They can help you realize there are issues that need to be resolved. The people around you don’t have to change. You do.

Life is full of countless lessons. Sometimes, we let guilt get the best of us and even sometimes play the victim.

Nevertheless, none of that will solve your problems. Your problems will only meet their end when you start treating yourself well, practicing self-love, stop being so hard on yourself and start putting yourself first.

Although it can be difficult, the moment will come when you’ll get tired of being let down all the time. You’ll start to realize there’s no need for them to negatively influence you.

Only after stumbling over the same obstacle again and again do we learn to eventually overcome it.