How to Discover Yourself Again Post-Breakup

Instead of seeing a breakup as a tragedy you should see it as an opportunity to grow as a person and dedicate time to yourself.

If you’re going through a breakup, or if you’re in the post-breakup phase, you might have felt a little lost. Maybe you don’t really know where to go. However, this feeling is completely normal. This is because you need to discover yourself again post-breakup.

When you live with or spend so much time with another person, your life isn’t the same as if you lived alone.

For instance, perhaps your schedules, activities, and hobbies all changed to fit your life with your partner. You even share your entertainment and friends.

But, when a breakup knocks at your door, suddenly you feel empty. Perhaps, you don’t know who you are or what you will want post-breakup.

Chances are, you haven’t thought about yourself. You think as a couple and now you have to find yourself again.

Discovering yourself post-breakup is a fantastic experience

It could be that discovering who you are post-breakup seems horrible to you. You’re so lost and hurt that you lose hope. Or, you also lose the desire to live happily again.

However, this relationship that is gone was a relationship that did nothing but enrich you. And, you need to see it as an opportunity to move forward and to improve as a person.


Discovering who you are after a breakup is pretty great. You see a lot of things you’ve given up, things you didn’t do because you didn’t have time to give to them. This is because your partner took all of your time.

So, now is the time to take those tennis classes you always liked. Or, you can take those hikes that made you feel so free.

Also, after a breakup, you discover all of the important people in your lives that you’ve put aside. For instance, this includes your friends.

You believe that you don’t have anyone to go out or make plans with. This is because it’s been a while since you gave up your friends for your partner.

A breakup and the ensuing self-discovery will help you to value those relationships that you’ve let slide. You let your friends go because of the insanity of love. But learning to value these relationships will keep the same thing from happening in the future.

Remember that friends, if you take care of them, will always be there. They will support and respect you. And, they won’t judge you. Instead, they’ll accept you just as you are with your faults and good qualities.

Life keeps moving forward

It’s natural to feel pain and guilt because your beautiful relationship that has come to an end. However, this post-breakup pain will pass. Life will keep moving forward. And, because of the suffering that mourning brings with it, you need to get past it.

You shouldn’t feel sad or guilty because this relationship didn’t work. Also, you shouldn’t feel like a victim of the circumstances.

You’ll see that post-breakup life keeps moving forward. And, you’ll see how your relationships end and it’s something normal.

Feeling that everything is over, that you won’t find anyone else and that you won’t be happy is normal. The security your partner gave isn’t there. In its place, there is only room for a great loneliness.

This loneliness frightens you and you try to avoid it. However, this loneliness, properly approached, lets you know yourself better. And, it helps you to follow your path better.

  • What did you do with our partner before? In most cases, you don’t have to give up these things. You can keep enjoying them alone or with friends.
  • What did you like or not like to do with your partner? Now is the time to do what fills you up and makes you incredibly happy.
  • Did you learn something from this relationship? Analyze what happened, the mistakes, successes, and what you learned from all of this. This way, you can apply it to all of your future relationships.
  • Are you afraid of being alone? Embrace it! Maybe you’ve never dared to be alone and this is a great opportunity. There isn’t a better way to discover yourself.

Discovering yourself after a breakup is really good, but it’s not easy. Many times, it’ll be important to turn to professional help what can guide you through this process.

Get to know what fills you, being conscious of what makes you happy without anyone at your side. You should also realize who the people are that you put off to the side when you’re in a relationship.

Post-breakup life is not a disaster. It’s an opportunity to grow!

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