We bet you know someone who seems to always be in a bad mood and has a knack for passing it on to the people around them. They have a low tolerance for frustration and are accustomed to responding negatively when things don’t go as they expected. How can we defend ourselves against negativity and from these types of people who have pessimistic attitudes towards life?
Why are some people always in a bad mood?
There are people out there who live in a world of pessimism, a type of negativity that not only affects their own lives, but also affects the lives of others. Experts tell us that behind this veil of pessimism lies constant irritability and a deep dissatisfaction with themselves. These people are victims of themselves because they pass the day wallowing in their own dissatisfaction with their experience of reality.
Although it may never reach a true depression, they may suffer from low self esteem, which comes out as apathy and contempt like a shell of armor. The glass might only be missing a drop, but they see it as half empty. They’re untrusting and unable to enjoy the good things around them; they also have a special talent for spreading their negativity to others.
We often hear phrases like, “If you do that, it’s not going to turn out well,” and “it’s not even worth trying, you’re not any good at those types of things.” Even though we try to ignore them, it can still be discouraging, especially in situations like these:
- If the negative person is a close family member: father, mother, partner…
- If the negative person has a certain amount of power over us: like a boss at work.
These are figures in our lives who we have to see fairly often and they can have a deep impact on our lives. It bothers and deeply affects us, forcing us to defend ourselves on a daily basis. We’ll show you how to protect yourself again negativity:
Tips for defending against negative people
1. Set limits
Keep in mind that some of these people might be very close to you, which means that sooner or later they will have some sort of influence over you, which is even easier for them on the days when your guard is down. We need to watch out because their negative behavior, feelings and comments can undermine our self esteem, leaving us hurting on the inside.
We have to put limits on their negative reasoning: “Why are you going to give the presentation instead of so-and-so?” “I am giving the presentation because I think I am capable.” “How can you even look at him/her? They’re too attractive for you.” “I’m checking them out because I’m worth the same as anyone and I have the right to be happy.”
We need to set boundaries for these types of people who always intend to do harm with their comments.
2. Make it clear that they’re the ones who have the problem.
This is difficult. Defeatism and low self worth always block a negative person from enjoying things in life. Show them that they are wrong and, most of all, that you are not like them. Smile at their negative comments and tell them something like, “only positive people really get it. Only positive people can truly appreciate what it means to be alive.”
Sometimes envy is lurking behind these feelings of mistrust. It’s always good to show them that their perception of reality is only bringing them problems. Unhappy people, that’s how you should learn to see them. Don’t let them have any influence over you, whatsoever.
3. Be assertive.
There’s nothing better than being assertive to defend ourselves against those trying to do us harm. You should always know what it is you want for yourself, and what you want most is simply to be happy, to live your life and show everyone that you are capable of anything you set your mind to.
Listening to negativity like this will get you nowhere: “It’s not worth it,” “you can’t do it,” “it’s not going to work out.” Life is a learning experience and you’ll occasionally make mistakes, but you’ll get right back up and finish what you started. You need to be assertive, say out loud what you want. You must set limits and show no fear. Negative people are the ones who are afraid, not you.
It’s essential to open our emotional umbrellas to protect ourselves from these all too common personalities. If possible, it might be worth trying to help them by showing them that it takes a more optimistic view to be happy. We need to raise our self esteem and remember that we all have the right to happiness and that it’s in our power to achieve, so let’s start today!