Couple Life After Having a Child
“It doesn’t seem that hard.” Many couples think this when they meet a newborn baby. However, when the time comes for them to taste what life after having a child actually is like, the little changes begin to disrupt the flow of their prior relationship.
For many couples, having children means consolidating their love and relationship. For others, it might be a motive for separation if they can’t manage the changes that maternity and paternity imply for them.
The first night with the baby at home is more than enough to realize that parenthood will be very different. After having a baby, the couple’s relationship needs to count on effort from both sides.
The importance of mutual support
In the most difficult scenarios, babies have to be fed every three hours or less, and they wake up continually. Lousy nights’ sleep lead to couple tensions that were never there before.
While mom sees to the baby, some dads feel shunned. Of course, in the first days of a baby’s life, the baby is so attached to the mother that sometimes, there just isn’t any room for someone else. The responsibilities as a mother absorb a woman and there’s no time for her partner.
If the man helps out with the house chores, it’s a huge help for his partner to better do her part as mom. Some women learn how to assign chores while others learn how to trust.
Taking it a step further, if the man helps with the baby, he’ll develop new skills that’ll benefit everyone. The hardships of taking care of a baby can be easier if parent willingness to spend the time and effort.
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Life after having a child
Upon becoming parents, a couple’s relationship will change as their child passes each life stage. The couple grows with their child. Being the parents of a baby isn’t the same thing as being the parents of a child or teenager.
Giving up some habits is necessary after having a child: if you enjoy going out to dance on Friday nights, or camping out on weekends, it’ll have to wait until your child is older. Don’t be sad; your child will grow up and those days will come.
With willingness, fast-thinking and creativity, a couple can integrate the big and inevitable changes that comes with the arrival of a child. Their plans now involve another person who is dependent upon them for love and support.
Keeping the passion
New parents take any chance they get to compare themselves with other parents and nourish themselves from others’ experiences. While sharing and laughing at ourselves isn’t a bad thing, a couple’s relationship will need both partners’ efforts to stay aflame.
Sometimes, the passion seems dim or even completely burnt out. A little patience, creativity and love is the answer to solve this small bedroom crisis.
Growing with your kids
Having a baby enriches a relationship. The connection between a couple grows when facing parenting everyday. Raising a child is a labor of love. It’s hard work, but it can be very rewarding for those who are ready.
The first baby might be a little more chaotic than the arrival of the second of third. It’s a new experience that, as much a couple may try to prepare, will catch them off guard.
Better to recognize and accept than to run away
Relationships after having a baby can get messy. We have to recognize and accept this. Before running away from the relationship, we have to accept that priorities have changed. It’s a matter of maturing both individually and as a couple.
Both partners will miss the romantic days. But don’t worry; it’s all part of the change. Children grow up, and as they do, couples rake in more life moments together. In the meantime, you have to take advantage of any moments that you can together get and carve out space for them, too!
Having children is a way to become stronger as a couple. Couples don’t stop being a couple, nor will they ever stop, if they decide to work together for parenthood. It’s just that now, instead of being a couple, they become a family.It might interest you...