If a Couple Agrees on Everything, Then One of Them Wears the Pants in the Relationship
No couple, however strong, mature and respectful their relationship is, can always agree on every aspect, every detail and every nuance of their everyday life. Loving someone doesn't mean just giving in. It's also able being able to understand, respect, and make compromises.
No couple, however strong, mature and respectful their relationship is, can always agree on every aspect, every detail and every nuance of their everyday life.
A strong and mature relationship is one that allows us to respect each others’ differences so that bridges are built through dialogue and a good compromise.
You may have also heard someone enthusiastically tell you that “My partner and I never discuss anything and we agree on everything we do!”
This type of phrase is often followed by something like “We’re soulmates.” It’s undoubtedly exciting to believe that there really are partners who are so similar in everything they believe and do. However, we all know that this isn’t common.
This doesn’t just refer to romantic relationships, however.
Friends also have their differences that can be dealt in the same way. In addition, every family has their fair share of arguments and differences of opinions, which sometimes can feel insurmountable. However, most families are still able to live with and respect each other.
In today’s article, we’re going to explore this topic.
If a couple always agrees on everything, one partner has all the power
This may sound negative and may even annoy many people. Is it really so strange for a couple to agree on every aspect of their personality, passions, and thoughts?
The answer is yes.
What happens, then, in the case of two people who never discuss anything because it seems like there are no discrepancies between them? One of the two has the power and exercises it relentlessly.
Power in a couple
There’s a mini power struggle in every relationship.
However, this is far from a problem. In fact, this exchange of power helps us to get to know ourselves better and to settle differences in opinion.
It’s possible that one partner always objects to everything. The other partner, in turn, learns to manage these situations and bring the discrepancies to a calmer terrain where both parties can reach a compromise.
Having said that, in some cases, there isn’t even room for any differences. It’s all or nothing. “Either you agree with what I think or it’s over.”
In this latter case, we have two options: to give in or to end the relationship. The complexity of it all is that there are people who are so in love with their partner that they can’t bear to end the relationship.
Instead, they decide to give in. They prefer to be silent, to say yes to everything and not object, because letting things go allows them to keep the relationship afloat.
Thinking differently but working together
No relationship where one partner has all the power can be truly satisfactory or happy. No matter how hard we try to “want to agree” with who we’re in love, it’s impossible. Remember:
- Not agreeing on certain aspects doesn’t mean that our partner loves us less, or that we love them less.
- Love is not about magically being the same as someone and agreeing with everything they say. The real power and true beauty of a relationship is being able to respect differences and reach agreements.
- Moreover, the simple fact that we have different interests can be enriching. This is because it helps us to have other points of view, to learn from each other and to broaden our perspectives.
Reaching agreements is a matter of willingness and reciprocity
We know that the words “argue” or “have differences” seem very negative to us.
However, it’s time to understand that these things are the only way for a relationship to advance and for any bond with someone to be healthy, sincere and dynamic. We must learn to manage our differences.
In order to reach agreements and compromise, each partner must genuinely acknowledge the other. For instance, they should say “I understand your needs and your points of view and respect you.”
Qualities such as empathy and active listening are essential, especially in a romantic relationship. These qualities are all a part of completely emotionally opening up to your partner.
Likewise, reciprocity is an essential part of every relationship. This is because it’s important to understand that loving someone doesn’t mean just giving. It also requires being able to receive, understand, and respect.
All of this should help us understand that any couple capable of reaching agreements for the common good will undoubtedly be able to achieve a happier and long lasting bond.
It’s worth working on it.
Images courtesy of Jarek Puczel