Childhood Boundaries Are an Act of Love
When and how to set childhood boundaries is a common question. The challenge is to find the best models to do so. Let's try!
Setting childhood boundaries is something that parents usually implement, although other adults can do it as well. Limits fulfill the purpose of organizing a child’s responses, and offer them frames of reference.
Saying “no” is essential on many occasions and professionals recommend that, in saying so, you also provide a brief explanation of why it’s so. As the years go by and children grow, said limits may vary in scale, proportion, as well as in the different mechanisms that determine them.
From a tantrum, to the possibility of negotiating permission and outings, you must review the setting of these limits as the years go by. What else do you need to know? We’ll tell you more about it in detail.
Childhood boundaries are a useful tool for child development
Because I say so
“Because I say so” is a phrase that’s deeply rooted in parenting but it may not leave much room for discussion, unless your repeated explanations don’t provide the expected results.
In this sense, say instead: “Because I say so and I’m your mother/father, and since I’m responsible for your well-being, I consider that it isn’t appropriate for you to do this or that or to go there.”
In an article written by Josep Cornellà i Canals, he highlights that:
“Rules are essential as a child discovers their environment and they require us to set limits through their mischief. The little child cannot understand arguments or reasoning.”
Do children learn from boundaries?
Do people learn from limits? And if so, who teaches them? There isn’t a single answer. Occasionally, the parents’ record of how their friends or other family members set limits, as well as either pleasant or traumatic memory of their own childhood, can serve as a guide on what and what not to do.
Childhood boundaries as generators of self-esteem
Setting limits – when it occurs within a framework of love and patience – promotes self-esteem. Likewise, you can say that when children are throwing a tantrum they’re actually crying out for a limit.
Also, the way in which children and the adults in charge of them process tantrums can become a mirror in which the former manage to confront difficulties.
Healthy and unhealthy childhood boundaries
It’s important to differentiate healthy boundaries from unhealthy ones, and then the results in raising children will be more satisfactory.
In this sense, we can state that some limits are healthy while others aren’t. Clearly, it’s the healthy limits that can lead to satisfactory results.
- Setting childhood boundaries is clearly an act of love, similar to inoculating children against diseases.
- It’s essential that you don’t lose your temper when you have to set a limit. This is because doing so under a state of anger or altered state won’t allow you to have a good perspective and much less offer it.
- Focus on no more than two issues when it comes to setting a limit so as not to lose effectiveness.
Thanks for reading.