What to do When You Become Bored with Your Lover

April 14, 2019
Sometimes, you may feel bored with your lover because of all of the time you spend together. For this reason, you should reclaim your personal space or perhaps take up new hobbies together, as they may be a way to recover the spark.

Are you bored with your lover? If so, don’t worry. Let’s talk about it.

Perhaps the time you spend together is no longer the same. You no longer laugh at each other’s jokes, can’t agree on a movie to watch, don’t like their friends and they don’t like yours. Furthermore, you may feel that your relationship is monotonous overall.

Does this ring a bell? If yes, then it’s time to accept that something isn’t right in your relationship and that it’s going to need a change.

It’s true that it’s hard to admit that there’s something wrong in your relationship. However, it’s essential to do so in order to find a solution that works for both of you.

Many of us already know that routine is an enemy of lovers. As time goes by, it’s normal to feel that you’ve “lost that spark.” You may be bored with your lover and feel like the magic is gone.

Well, being bored with your lover doesn’t always indicate that your mutual love is over. (There are specific signs for that). Even though breaking up is the first solution that often comes to mind, nobody likes failure. Sometimes, it’s working giving yourselves a second chance and try to recover what seems to be lost.

Things to Try if You’re Bored with Your Lover

A seemingly bored woman.

1. Admit that Being Bored with Your Lover is a Problem

Before looking for definitive solutions for what you’re feeling, it’s important that you admit that you’re going through an emotional situation and that you feel dissatisfied and unhappy.

If you’re bored with your lover, then think about the source of that problem and evaluate it while trying to accept your own wrongdoings before placing all of the responsibility on the other person.

Remember that a relationship takes two people. It’s impossible to always agree on everything. (After all, you probably don’t even agree with yourself a lot of the time.)

Read also: 6 Forms of Verbal Abuse from Your Partner that Should not be Tolerated

2. Talk About it with Your Lover

Once you recognize that daily routine is affecting what you feel, talk to your partner and try to explain what’s happening to you without making accusations or emotional blackmail. Who knows: chances are they may also feel the same way and are afraid of bringing it up.

It’s necessary that both of you express your point of view so that you can find the origin of your problems and possible solutions for them together. Do it calmly and productively, without pointing fingers.

This step is very important, since both partners must brainstorm for solutions and commit to trying some that will take you out of the monotony that’s currently disillusioning you.

3. Remember What Brought You Together

A happy looking couple.

As time goes by, it’s easy to forget that there were reasons for initiating a sentimental bond with a lover. So, when you’re questioning your relationship and bored with your lover, try to remember how it all started.

You probably forgot that, at first, there were countless things that brought you together. Also, perhaps you forgot how much fun it was to break the routine with all of the things you did together.

Whatever the reason, remembering the beginning could help you both get over the issues that are currently deteriorating your relationship.

4. Make Time for Shared Activities and Hobbies

Do you do the same thing every day? Do you see each other and you have nothing to talk about?

This may be the reason why you’re bored with your lover. If your relationship is boringly routine, then it’s time to resume the activities and hobbies that you used to share or find new ones in order to strengthen your bond and rekindle your love.

Initially, most people fall in love with their own idealization and projections of who the other person is and what a relationship with them will be like. However, when the first stages of falling in love are over, then it’s normal to be a bit disappointed and to get into the habit of looking for a different plan to do on your own. To spark up the relationship, try to return to the hobbies that you both enjoyed so much.

If you weren’t interested in each other’s hobbies to begin with, then this may be the time to start. You can’t expect them to like what you like if you don’t share it with them.

In short, if you both compromise to be a part of each other’s activities and if you seek a plan to enjoy a good adventure, then you’ll definitely feel that shared interest that brought you together in the beginning.

See also: Is Age Just a Number When It Comes to Love?

5. Reclaim Your Personal Space

Three friends drinking wine.

When relationships start, it’s normal for you to want to follow your partner everywhere and do everything together. Furthermore, you may even put aside your friendships. Perhaps you surrender completely into the new relationship, and you forget many of the activities that you once enjoyed.

However, your daily routine may have made you realize that you want to revive the things that you did when you were single. For this reason, in order not to get to the point of feeling like you want to break up, it’s essential that you try to reclaim your space.

Of course, it’s not easy and it will require commitment from both of you. However, the effort will be worth it.

6. Be Patient

All relationships go through difficult times. So, try not to be surprised or upset when the monotony begins to make its rounds. If you worry too much about things that aren’t worth it, it’ll be harder to overcome the boredom.

Furthermore, be patient. Express yourself without fear around your partner, and try to work together to solve the little flaws that made your relationship become monotonous.

Take a deep breath and relax. Communicate with each other and follow these steps, and then you won’t have to resort to drastic measures.