How to Attract a Man without Going After Him

27 January, 2019
Although it may seem contradictory, to attract a man and grab his interest, it's important for you to seem independent and make him see that you don't need him in your life.

Knowing how to attract a man is innate for some women. However, not all of us are skilled in this art form. It’s all about implementing the seduction tools men just won’t be able to resist.

The important thing is not to show them everything at once. Instead, you have to dominate the situation to make sure they keep coming back for more. You have to take the initiative.

Don’t Be Too Forward

Men feel more comfortable when they’re in control of their emotional life. They need to feel like they’re the ones seducing the woman they’re attracted to. Thus, the idea is to lead them without them knowing you’re doing so.

Being comfortable and confident in the steps they’re taking is important to them. This is why being too forward will scare them off, because they’ll feel pressured.

When a woman goes after them, they tend to flee due to fear of an immediate commitment they’re not prepared for. Or, worse, they’ll only approach her for a sexual encounter and then ghost her once they get her in bed.

All this means that it’s unlikely you’ll get a positive outcome if you go after a man.

Now that we’ve talked about what not to do, let’s look at some things you should do.

Tips for Attracting a Man

1. Allow contact

A couple having a good conversation.

You have to generate casual contact that offers him the opportunity to approach you. A special and profound gaze and a smile will help spark a conversation.

You should listen to his stories and even those cliché and cheesy pick up lines. In addition, you have to show you’re genuinely interested in what he’s saying.

Making sure he perceives you as a fun and self-confident person is half the battle!

You have to take advantage of your conversations to bond with him. Make him feel that you’re the only person he’ll ever want to be with.

Take a look at this article: 5 Gestures That Happy Couples Do Before Going to Sleep

2. Keep up the mystery

Once you start talking, you’ll eventually make plans to hang out or go on a date. During your date, you have to let him woo you and also make him feel important. Dates are perfect opportunities for you to get to know each other more and see if you really hit it off.

It’s advisable not to tell him every single detail of your life. Keeping the mystery is the key to attracting a man. A very seductive way of doing this is giving half-answers. That will keep him coming back for more.

Also, and although times have changed, it’s always best to avoid sex on the first date. Playing hard to get keeps them interested and makes them desire you more.

3. Project confidence

To attract a man, you have to make sure he knows how much you enjoy your leisure time, get-togethers with friends, and meeting new people.

Men admire confident and independent women because they feel they won’t interfere with their lives. Having an independent attitude will make a man just want to get closer to you and deepen the bond.

You also have to be emotionally prepared not to push him too hard, as this can scare him off.

Discover: 5 Things that Cause a Relationship to Deteriorate

4. Show him he can trust you

Being an active listener will help him open up and tell his secrets. Once you know his sports preferences, musical tastes, and other interests, it’ll be very easy for you to surprise him.

Inviting him to a concert of a singer you both like will definitely make him like you more.


To attract a man, you need to give him a sexy look, show off your friendly smile, and be a confident woman who knows what she wants.

These are the keys to keeping a man interested!

  • Singh, R., Yeo, S. E. L., Lin, P. K., & Tan, L. (2007). Multiple mediators of the attitude similarity-attraction relationship: Dominance of inferred attraction and subtlety of affect. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 29(1), 61-74.