How to Attract a Man without Going After Him - Step To Health

How to Attract a Man without Going After Him

Although it may seem contradictory, to attract a man and grab his interest, it's important for you to seem independent and make him see that you don't need him in your life.
How to Attract a Man without Going After Him

Last update: 18 May, 2021

Catching a man’s attention is a matter that, for some people, is innate. For others, it can be hard to attract a man. However, each person can have their own seduction tools.

There are those who believe that, in order to seduce, you need to maintain a certain amount of reserve in order to generate interest. They also say that this same reserve can help that guy “take the first step”.

Why should try to attract a man without going after him?

In general, men feel more comfortable when they’re in control of their emotional life. They need to feel like they’re the ones seducing the woman they’re attracted to. Thus, the idea is to lead them without them knowing you’re doing so.

Being comfortable and confident in the steps they’re taking is important to them. This is why being too forward will scare them off, because they’ll feel pressured.

When a woman goes after them, they tend to flee due to fear of an immediate commitment they’re not prepared for. Or, worse, they’ll only approach her for a sexual encounter and then ghost her once they get her in bed. All this means that it’s unlikely you’ll get a positive outcome if you go after a man.

How to attract a man

1. Allow contact

A couple clinking their coffee cups together.

You have to generate casual contact that offers him the opportunity to approach you. A special and profound gaze and a smile will help spark a conversation.

You should listen to his stories and even those cliché and cheesy pick-up lines. In addition, you have to show you’re genuinely interested in what he’s saying.

Making sure he perceives you as a fun and self-confident person is half the battle! You have to take advantage of your conversations to bond with him. Make him feel that you’re the only person he’ll ever want to be with.

2. Keep the mystery going

Once you start talking, you’ll eventually make plans to hang out or go on a date. During your date, you have to let him woo you and also make him feel important. Dates are perfect opportunities for you to get to know each other more and see if you really hit it off.

Resist the temptation to tell him every single detail of your life. Remaining a mystery is the key to attracting a man. A very seductive way of doing this is giving half-answers. That will keep him coming back for more.

Also, and although times have changed, it’s always best to avoid sex on the first date. Playing hard to get keeps them interested and makes them desire you more.

3. Project confidence

A woman walking and looking over her shoulder with a smile.

To attract a man, you have to make sure he knows how much you enjoy your leisure time, get-togethers with friends, and meeting new people.

Men admire confident and independent women because they feel they won’t interfere with their lives. In fact, it’s the precise moment when they’re entering your life and they don’t even know it yet.

Of course, you have to back the words with actions for a while. You also have to be emotionally prepared not to push him too hard, as this can scare him off.

4. Show him he can trust you

Being an active listener will help him open up and tell his secrets and interestsOnce you’ve discovered his sports preferences, musical tastes, and other hobbies, it’s very easy to surprise him. Inviting him to the concert of some artist that you both like, for example, is a plan that can end up helping you attract a man.


To attract a man, you need to give him a sexy look, show off your friendly smile, and be a confident woman who knows what she wants. Of course, he can imagine that he’s your “prince charming” who came to amuse and take care of you. Two ways to interpret the same action, a simple strategy for love.

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The Game of Flirting: 5 Effective Ways to Attract a Man
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In the game of flirting it’s worth using all weapons at your disposal and why not? You should also break the rules.

  • Singh, R., Yeo, S. E. L., Lin, P. K., & Tan, L. (2007). Multiple mediators of the attitude similarity-attraction relationship: Dominance of inferred attraction and subtlety of affect. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 29(1), 61-74.