Relationships are incredible acts of love that require work, compassion, and commitment in order to succeed.
With divorce rates at their highest levels, however, the reality is that many people take big steps in relationships without knowing what awaits them.
Once the honeymoon is over, they have to get back to reality and move on with their lives.
In a lot of cases, you have to learn to face difficulties with your partner. It’s also possible that the marriage will reach a breaking point if things don’t go well.
If you’ve just taken this big step in life or are about to do so, remember the following things that you should talk about honestly with your partner before you get married.
1. The flame of love doesn’t always burn like it did on day 1
How many people give up on their marriage because they feel like the spark is fading?
It might be hard to imagine that the feeling you’re experiencing now could ever go away, but you’ll have to find out for yourself what the true meaning of love is.
It’s not always a romantic movie with a happy ending. You have to be prepared to go through some difficult stages. You both need to understand that even if the flame shines a little less brightly, it doesn’t mean that your marriage is a failure.
Don’t forget to read: Love at middle age: when two souls are wise
2. Love grows in different ways
You don’t necessarily have to be infatuated with someone to know that you’re in love and have a successful marriage. True love requires time and effort.
It needs a lot of care for it to flower. You might be one of those people who thinks that there are only two extremes: to love or not to love. However, this ignores the stages that are in the middle.
Let your marriage run its course and don’t over-analyze the bumps in the road. They will only make you wonder if you love your partner enough.
3. The attraction won’t always be there
It’s safe to assume that you won’t always feel physically attracted to your partner. While attraction is considered very important in our image-conscious society, it’s important to remember that even when you’re with someone who you’re very attracted to, the relationship doesn’t always last.
This can cause phases of doubt when you question whether or not you still love your partner. Questioning your relationship when attraction has changed is normal, and you should be able to talk with your partner honestly about it.
4. You have to show love even when you don’t want to
Things aren’t always going to go great. For this reason, it’s easy to act almost like a child when your partner has hurt you.
When you are in such situations, your feelings of love may decline and you might be reluctant to show affection.
For a marriage to survive, however, it’s important that you learn to swallow your pride and show your love, even when you don’t want to. Small, petty acts can cause resentment to grow in both yourself and your partner.
After an argument, try having a cup of tea or coffee and talking honestly with your partner.
5. Married life is a journeyYou might feel like you’ve already achieved the ultimate goal with your partner, but married life is difficult and you need help in order to grow and thrive, both as a couple and as an individual.
There will be difficult times that seem orchestrated to erase all emotions from you both. Use these emotions to build your relationship up and not to tear it down.
If you can do this, you’ll reap the fruits that marriage has to offer. When you decide to talk honestly with your partner, you might both discover a lot of ways that you can grow together.
6. Having children causes strain in a marriage
Everyone knows that having children is a wonderful phase in life, but at the same time it’s very hard on a marriage. It’s possible that even if you have the best of marriages you’ll suffer from some tension after having kids.
This is why it’s important to talk about when you think it will be a good idea to have children. Don’t set aside your marriage during this time.
Take your time and strive to enjoy the moments that you can spend together.
7. Physical love requires an emotional connection
Sexual activity in a couple is a vital way to show that you love and appreciate each other. It’s about learning to give and receive in a loving way, and not a method to gain power, security, or validation.
If the connection is based on feelings, your sex life is less likely to decline during the marriage. Over time, your sex life will change, however, and this is normal.
Remember to talk with your partner and be open and respectful to what you both feel and want.
8. Marriage can’t survive without communication
Talking with your partner will allow you both to enjoy a successful marriage. Repressing secrets and emotions only causes pain and results in the destruction of the relationship.
Share your feelings and emotions with your partner in a constructive way. This will make both of you happier. The tensions in your marriage will be released and you’ll have honesty to buoy you along.
Things aren’t always going to be easy. That’s why you need to work with your partner to get through the difficult times.