7 Phrases that Can Hurt Your Partner

April 22, 2019
Words hold a lot of power. Choose them wisely when having an arguement or even just conversation with your partner, since there are phrases that can hurt anyone.

Words have great power both for those who express them and for those who receive them. Even the smallest sentence shouldn’t be underestimated. Each syllable has the potential to inspire, help, or hurt someone. This effect is even stronger when it comes to a couple. That’s why it’s important to know these seven phrases that can hurt your partner.

When someone is angry, they don’t always think through what they say and can hurt their partner. This results in negative feelings.

All couples have their ups and downs. Therefore, it’s necessary to think things through before speaking. Saying what you think you feel in a particular moment can cause serious problems and potentially the end of true love.

phrases that can hurt

What Are the Phrases that Can Hurt?

You’ve probably already said these to your partner, but there are some expressions that you should avoid at all costs in a relationship. Look at these phrases that can be hurtful. Perhaps you didn’t realize that you could damage your bond by emotionally hurting your partner.

  1. “Sorry but…” Apologizing and then saying “but” doesn’t help build trust, credibility or intimacy.
  2. “Oh yeah? But if you…” Twisting things to be against your partner can be the end of the conversation. This is perceived as a threat to the connection that you’ve formed.
  3. “You always…” This phrase opens the door to an endless argument and will make your partner feel like they’re being attacked. 
  4. “You’re the same as…” Noting the similarities between your partner and someone they don’t want to be like is a dangerous way to critique them. This is extremely hurtful.
  5. “I don’t know why I’m with you” If you’re brave enough to express this, you should be brave enough to leave the relationship.
  6. Any curse words.
  7. “My ex never would have done that” Requiring that your current partner be the same as a partner from an ex-relationship is an immature attitude that can have serious consequences.

Read this article: Why People Don’t End Relationships When They No Longer Work

Microaggression

Microaggression is hidden psychological mistreatment since it comes from small and circumstantial verbal attacks from your partner. It’s used in everyday life and often becomes customary to the point that it begins to be part of the routine that causes low self-esteem.

Microaggression is a form of abuse that doesn’t leave physical traces. It cannot be seen and perhaps, if we feel bad about it, we may not even quite realize what’s causes us to feel bad. We often don’t recognize it until our relationship has reached a point that there is no turning back.

For example, some phrases that can be hurtful include sarcastic comments such as “Not a day passes without you showing me a new act of clumsiness” and “Let me do that, you’re a disaster” may seem small, but they’re very damaging. This is especially true even if you add the finishing phrase “I’m telling this to you out of love.”

These and many others are similar circumstances that occur daily and are often confused with fondness but are almost always undermining and hurtful towards the affected person.

However, instead of being obvious verbal abuse, this type of abuse is given little by little.

Take a look at this article: 5 Ways to Have Successful Conversations

How Should You Act?

An argument is an art, and it’s not synonymous with fighting. The way in which you speak will greatly influence the magnitude of the conflict.

Some values that help prevent uncomfortable situations are empathy, respect, humility, and generosity.

The following phrases can take the discussion in a good direction:

  • “What you said makes sense.” This phrase is an opportunity to reach the middle ground with your partner.
  • “I feel (this way) when you say that.” Starting with this sentence provides the opportunity to admit feelings and strengthen their trust. In addition, it’s an opportunity for your partner to also express how they feel.
  • “I’m sorry if I bothered you. Tell me how you feel so I can better understand you…” Forget about assuming or guessing what your partner’s feelings or emotions are. Instead, ask. Allow spaces in the conversation for understanding.
  • “Why not try to support each other?” This approach is honest and invited union of both parties to transform or end the discussion on a positive note. Gentle gestures and tone of voice, physical contact, and kind looks help this compromise.

Misunderstandings will always be part of an interpersonal relationship, especially in the relationship of a couple. To get on a good path, it’s necessary to apply a successful approach for all aspects like communication and, of course, avoid phrases that can hurt your partner.