6 Things Your Partner Should Never Ask You

April 21, 2019
If your partner decidesthat a dream, goal, or interest is no longer important or necessary for you, this is a sign of an unhealthy relationship where one person has excessive control over the other.

Do you love your partner so much that you think you would do anything for him or her? While it is common to try to improve ourselves when we’re with another person, there are certain things that your partner should never ask you to do.

If you’re unsure what these things are, keep reading and we will explain these cases and when it is healthy to set limits and not allow the other person to take control.

Things Your Partner Should Never Ask You

couple in conflict

All of the points we touch on below can affect either your emotional or physical health. To have a healthy relationship, these are some things your partner should never ask of you:

1. To Change Who You Are

One thing your partner should never ask you to do is to change your personality or copy the personality or behavior of someone else.

It doesn’t matter if your partner prefers if you were blonde or if your partner loved how his or her ex acted- you don’t have to change anything about yourself if you don’t want to.

It’s not just about loving the person who you are, but also about respecting yourself, your fears, your challenges, and your history.

The only time that it is acceptable for your partner to suggest that you change an aspect of yourself is if it damages or affects you negatively in some way. For example, if you are a very negative person or have habits that affect your health, it is acceptable for your partner to suggest certain improvements.

However, they should only be suggestions and should be made out of love for you and your well-being. After all, if your partner doesn’t love who you are at your worst and your best, maybe he or she should not be with you.

2. To Give Up Your Dreams

Another thing your partner should never ask you to do is give up your dreams or interests. 

There are many people who give up their careers or change their careers for their partner or family.

If the couple has an open conversation about this and both parties equally agree that this is the best decision for their family and their individual happiness, than this is alright.

However, it is a problem if your partner decides for you that a dream, goal, or interest is no longer important or necessary. This is a sign of an unhealthy relationship where one person has excessive control over the other.

3. To Pressures You to Do Something You’re Uncomfortable With

Your partner should also never force you or pressure you to do something that you feel uncomfortable with, especially when it comes to intimacy.

We all have our own limits and fetishes that we can explore with our partner. This may also help us feel more confident in ourselves and our sexuality.

However, your partner should never pressure or force you to perform any intimate act that you’re uncomfortable with. This will deeply affect your relationship and is a form of abuse. 

Of course, with healthy communication, you and your partner can discuss these limits and desires, and you can work together to try to break taboos or make you more comfortable with a certain idea. The key is to communicate and be patient and to only do something when you both feel comfortable with it. 

Discover: How to Leave a Toxic Relationship

4. Your Partner Should Never Ask You to Isolate Yourself from Your Loved Ones

Your friends and family are your support group and form an important part of your life. Therefore, your partner should never ask you to distance yourself from any loved one.

Your partner may not get along well with a friend or family member, but it does not have to be something serious that affects your relationship with either person.

Your partner should never ask you to not go out with friends or family or to stay at home alone. If you find yourself in this situation, you should talk to someone you trust to make sure that your relationship is healthy and not becoming harmful to you.

Abusive or violent partners often distance their victim from anyone who can offer support to that person. Therefore, it’s important to be careful in this situation.

5. Invade Your Privacy

Some people believe that there should not be any privacy in a relationship. However, this is something that your partner should not ask of you.

It’s acceptable for your partner to use your phone if he or she has run out of battery or forgot theirs at home and needs to make an urgent call. However, your partner should not be monitoring everyone you talk to on your phone or looking over your shoulder to see every notification.

You should always keep your passwords, financial data and any other sensitive information a secret.

In the case you want to share a password, it should always be because you want to and not because you feel obligated to or your partner forced or pressured you for it.

We also suggest: How to Distance Yourself from Toxic People

6. To  Be Responsible for Everything

Each person has their own skills and characteristics that make him or her good at certain things. Therefore, it’s only normal that, within a relationship, each person takes on certain roles that they are inherently better suited for. For example, if one person is good with finances, he or she takes control of the family accounts. On the other hand, if one is an excellent cook, he or she may do more cooking.

However, one thing that your partner should never ask of you is that you take responsibility for everything. This will drain your energy, make you feel overwhelmed, and oftentimes lead to resentment or frustration in the relationship.

Instead, each person should have their own responsibilities within the relationship.

Is there anything else that your partner should never ask of you?