6 Things Your Partner Should Never Ask You To Do

There are certain toxic behaviors that are disguised as acts of love but can compromise our dignity. Here are 6 things your partner should never ask you to do.
6 Things Your Partner Should Never Ask You To Do

Last update: 16 May, 2021

Love’s a beautiful feeling that we all like to experience. That joy, that sense of wellbeing, and that calmness that it gives off are unique sensations. In fact, it’s common to feel that you’d do anything for your partner because of the love you feel for them. However, there are some things that your partner should never ask you to do.

That’s right, no matter how much love you feel, there are certain lines that you should never cross. Therefore, it’s important that you be attentive because, under the spell of infatuation, you may let accept certain behaviors and requests that compromise your dignity. The most common are the following.

Things Your Partner Should Never Ask You To Do

couple in conflict

1. To Change Who You Are

One thing your partner should never ask you to do is to change your personality to become the person they want you to be.

It doesn’t matter if your partner wishes you were blonde or if they want you to act more like their ex. You don’t have to change anything about yourself if you don’t want to.

It’s not just about your partner respecting you and loving the person you are. It’s also about you respecting yourself, your fears, your challenges, and your history.

The only time that it’s acceptable for your partner to suggest that you change an aspect of yourself is if it damages or affects you negatively in some way. For example, if you are a very negative person or have habits that affect your health, it is acceptable for your partner to suggest certain improvements.

However, they should only be suggestions and should be made out of love for you and your wellbeing. After all, if your partner doesn’t love who you are at your worst and at your best, maybe they shouldn’t be with you.

2. To Give Up Your Dreams

Another thing your partner should never ask you to do is give up your dreams or interests. 

There are many people who give up their careers or change their careers for their partner or family. If the couple has an open conversation about this and both parties equally agree that this is the best decision for their family and their individual happiness or growth, then this is alright.

However, it is a problem if your partner decides for you that a dream, goal, or interest is no longer important or necessary. This is a sign of an unhealthy relationship where one person has excessive control over the other.

3. To Pressures You to Do Something Sexual  That You’re Uncomfortable With

Your partner should also never force you or pressure you to do something that you feel uncomfortable with, especially when it comes to intimacy.

We all have our own limits and fetishes that we can explore with our partner. This may also help us feel more confident in ourselves and our sexuality. However, your partner should never pressure or force you to perform any intimate act that you’re uncomfortable with. This will deeply affect your relationship and is a form of abuse. 

Of course, with healthy communication, you and your partner can discuss these limits and desires, and you can work together to try to break taboos or make you more comfortable with a certain idea. The key is to communicate and be patient and to only do something when you both feel comfortable with it. 

4. Your Partner Should Never Ask You to Isolate Yourself from Your Loved Ones

Your friends and family are your support group and form an important part of your life. Therefore, your partner should never ask you to distance yourself from any loved one.

Your partner may not get along well with a friend or family member, but it doesn’t have to be something serious that affects your relationship with either person.

Your partner should never ask you to not go out with friends or family or to stay at home alone. If you find yourself in this situation, you should talk to someone you trust to make sure that your relationship is healthy and not becoming harmful to you.

Abusive or violent partners often distance their victim from anyone who can offer support to that person. Therefore, it’s important to be careful in this situation.

5. Invade Your Privacy

Some people believe that there should not be any privacy in a relationship. However, this is something that your partner should not ask of you.

It’s acceptable for your partner to use your phone if he or she has run out of battery or forgot theirs at home and needs to make an urgent call. However, your partner should not be monitoring everyone you talk to on your phone or looking over your shoulder to see every notification.

You should always keep your passwords, financial data, and any other sensitive information a secret, unless you decide otherwise.

In the case you want to share a password, it should always be because you want to and not because you feel obligated to or your partner forced or pressured you for it.

6. To  Be Responsible for Everything

Each person has their own skills and characteristics that make him or her good at certain things. Therefore, it’s only normal that, within a relationship, each person takes on certain roles that they are inherently better suited for. For example, if one person is good with finances, they take control of the family accounts. On the other hand, if one is an excellent cook, they may do more cooking.

However, one thing that your partner should never ask of you is to take responsibility for everything. This will drain your energy, make you feel overwhelmed, and oftentimes, lead to resentment or frustration in the relationship.

Instead, each person should have their own responsibilities within the relationship that complement one another.

A couple looking holding a wooden toy house in their hands.

Be on Alert For Toxic Behaviors

As mentioned above, you should be aware of and learn to identify the most toxic behaviors. Don’t let your partner force you to do something you don’t want to do or restrict your freedom.

You’re a human being, with your qualities and flaws, and you deserve to be respected. Don’t let anyone make you feel that you’re not valid enough to be loved.

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