6 Symptoms That You Are a Victim of Verbal Abuse

05 November, 2019
Verbal abuse does not have to be accompanied by aggressive language or a high tone. Someone can use subtle ways to intimidate us or make us feel inferior

When we hear the word “abuse” we automatically think of physical aggression. However, there is also verbal abuse that, while leaving no visible signs of harm, is just as harmful as the physical type.

Due to its lack of visibility, it is difficult to perceive if one is being a victim. That’s why you should be alert to the following symptoms:

1. You feel scared even if you do not get screamed at

Psychological Abuse

We can mistakenly think that verbal abuse is synonymous with screaming, but it is not always the case. In reality, the verbal or psychological abuser tends to manipulate and make the victim doubt themself.

The victimizer can even use a kind and loving tone of voice. That is why you must remember that the fact that someone does not have an aggressive behavior does not mean that they are not exercising abuse. Threats may also be present, either explicit or implicit.

Do you feel worried about how the other person can act if you do not do something? Are you afraid of your comments all the time ? Do you take care of every word and action so as not to disturb them?

Do you want to know more? 5 Forms of Emotional Abuse We Don’t Always Recognize in Time

2. They compare you or blame you for everything

We all like to respect our individuality and accept ourselves as we are. However, verbal abuse often undermines our self-confidence through comparisons and guilt.

Nobody likes to be told that another person is smarter, prettier or makes things better when using a tone of reproach, mockery or cruelty. Listening to this every day is a big blow to our self-esteem.

  • You must leave the situation that makes you live it as soon as you see the problem.
  • Remember that no one has the right to make you feel inferior under any circumstances.
  • From the hand of comparison comes guilt, and it is normal for abusers to make you feel guilty even for the smallest details.

3. You feel intimidated all the time

The Process of Verbal Abuse

You may notice that you are being verbally abused if you feel intimidated when you are close to that person.

This signal can be very subtle, ranging from jokes and derogatory comments to inappropriate language that damages your self-esteem.

It goes without saying that intimidation can reach more worrying levels and you can end up being forced to do something you do not want or that you consider degrading.

4. You feel that they accuse you or interrogate you all the time

The direct attacks derived from the lack of security and confidence suffered by the violent person are another sign of verbal abuse. In general, this lack of confidence is associated with low self-esteem, which makes you question each of your movements and your actions.

  • It is possible that these questions and accusations are gradual so you must be alert to detect when the situation is occurring.
  • A common mistake is to start giving explanations to calm your fears. The problem is that, over time, the situation will worsen.

5. You have negative changes in your mood

Improve Your State of Being

As human beings, everything around us has some effect on us. Therefore, being a victim of some kind of verbal abuse can leave us with several sequels that we can identify if we pay attention.

  • Try to be aware of your mood when you are close to other people: can you distinguish those that make you feel happy? And those that wear you out?

If you identify that there is a person who only produces a constant feeling of discomfort, be it sadness or discomfort, it is time to avoid them.

  • Sometimes it is hard to recognize that someone has the ability to affect you, but it is better to accept it and set it apart.
  • Something very important is to pay attention to is what you are feeling beyond your expectations, because these people are usually very subtle with their abuse.

If it is your partner or someone you love, you should try to be objective so that you can distinguish what is causing the damage. Based on that, decide what steps you will take to remedy your situation.

Did you know? Get in a Better Mood by Adding These 9 Foods to Your Diet

6. You are the abuser of another person

Human beings learn from the behaviors we see. In the case of abuse, unfortunately, many of the victims become victimizers.

For example, a child who grew up in an environment in which his parents did not control their emotions, will become a verbally aggressive adult because they did not learn how to control their feelings.

Of course, there are ways to heal and break these circles. The recommended thing in this case is to find a specialist to help you deal with the abuse you suffered and give you guidelines to establish healthy relationships.

Act against verbal abuse

Recognizing and accepting that you are a victim of verbal abuse is not something simple. Just remember that your well-being depends on the attention you give to the situation you live.

Before thinking about how people around you will react or any other factor, remember that your main concern should be yourself.

  • Evans P. Abuso verbal. La Violencia Negada.  Ediciones B Argentina S.A. (2000)