6 Childhood Emotional Wounds
Do the emotional wounds in your childhood still affect you today? Some negative childhood experiences can affect your mental health during teenage and adult years.
Childhood experiences determine adult personality-developing factors. In childhood, you partly define who you are and how you face life.
Childhood emotional wounds are the result of bad experiences that scarred you during formative years. Although those events happened a long time ago, they leave marks on people’s lives. This is why you still have unresolved childhood fears as an adult.
Therefore, it’s very important to help your children manage their emotions and overcome their fears. As a parent, you need to understand that raising children is all about teamwork.
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What are childhood emotional wounds?
Most psychological problems are rooted in emotional trauma during childhood. Your childhood experiences influence your personality and attitude towards different situations in life, highly influenced by our early life experiences.
If these experiences were traumatic and caused a lot of suffering, chances are those fears will stick to you during adulthood. Likewise, you may react like a child when facing certain stressful situations.
If you lived traumatic experiences during childhood, your inner child who was humiliated, betrayed, or had a low self-esteem will come out and expose your deepest fears. Therefore, it’s normal that these emotional wounds still live inside you and affect you today.
If classmates, family members, or relatives made fun of certain traits or attitudes during your childhood, this may have spawned an introverted personality with a lot of issues.
Victims of destructive criticism could turn into ruthless people who want others to suffer what they did, based on data from the publication Unseen wounds: The contribution of psychological maltreatment to child and adolescent mental health and risk outcomes.
Fear of abandonment
Abandoned children tend to look for ways to fill their emptiness as adults. That’s why they often leave their partners or back out from doing things out of fear of being abandoned first. They say things like: “I’m going to leave you before you leave me”, “If you go, you better not come back”, or “Why should I put up with this if no one’s got my back?” A BMJ Journals article points out that those with a fear of abandonment need to work on their fear of rejection, individual barriers, loneliness, and above all, physical contact.
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Good self-esteem develops during childhood, especially in the household. If you don’t accept your children and love them as they are, they’ll feel they must change to meet your expectations.
Each child has several traits and abilities that make them unique and different. When your child tells you of an achievement that made them feel proud of themselves, express your joy with an affectionate gesture. That way, your child will know that you love and cherish them. This will boost their self-esteem and make them feel good about themselves.
People with low self-esteem are typically indecisive, lazy, discouraged, pessimistic, and easily embarrassed. This is why it’s extremely important to foster a good self-esteem in our children throughout their childhood.
When a child is constantly unfairly or exaggeratedly punished due to their flaws, they grow up to be insecure. Unfairness is an emotional wound that can turn you into a person with a very negative outlook on life.
In addition, those who weren’t treated fairly during their childhood criticize everything around them.
During childhood, the fear of being alone or away from parents spawns needy adults who’d do anything to get some love. People with separation anxiety are typically shy, insecure, and submissive.
If parents don’t keep the promises they made to their children, they may end up being distrustful and unsociable as adults. Respect and loyalty will make these adults much more confident in the future. Fooling a child is taking away their naivety and replacing it with malice.
The emotional wounds we have from childhood condition us.
Childhood emotional wounds determine the way you see and face life. If you don’t want your children to grow up with emotional trauma, you must be very careful during their upbringing. It’s important to play an active role during their childhood and not delegate that responsibility to a third party.
You must remember that every child is unique and develops their skills at their own pace. Thus, you should never compare them to their friends or classmates. If you want your child to change something, you should urge them to reflect on their behavior without unfairly punishing them.
Finally, it’s every parent’s duty to maintain open lines of communication with their children. This way, they’ll feel safe to discuss their fears or concerns with you, thus allowing you to solve their problems faster.It might interest you...