5 Ways You Lie to Yourself

important that we learn to be self-critical, because only then can we learn and advance.
5 Ways You Lie to Yourself

Last update: 27 May, 2022

Have you ever noticed that you lie to yourself?

You lie to yourself more than you think. Today, we’ll show you some ways in which you do this so that you can be more aware of your attitude.

This will bring you many benefits, because self-deception is something similar to limiting yourself. It’s time to break down barriers and stop lying to yourself.

Discover how you do it.

1. You confuse need with love

emotional dependence

This is the first of the ways in which you lie to yourself, and it’s nothing more than confusing need with love.

Sometimes, you might think you feel love, when in reality, it’s something else.

What can it be if it is not love? Fear of loneliness, emotional dependence, fear of never finding a partner with whom to share your life…

This way, the love is impregnated with jealousy, possession, fear, anguish and control … But in reality you don’t feel love. You lie to yourself. You need someone by your side, but you do not love him.

2. Blame and judge others

Have you noticed that you blame and judge others?

What are some things that you cannot stand in other people? If so much puts you on edge, it is important that you start looking in the mirror.

  • If you judge the “free” behavior of a person so much, it could be that you’re repressing yourself sexually. You may not allow yourself enjoy yourself and that you live subject to what society dictates is right. However, your inner self cries out to live life freely.
  • If you blame your partner for smoking inside the house,but you have overlooked it countless times, you’re lying to yourself by blaming that person. The responsibility is all yours for not having expressed what you thought of it from the start.

3. Is it that you CAN’T do it, or that you don’t want to?

lie to yourself

Sometimes, you may find yourself saying things like: “If I could, I would help,” “If I didn’t have so many expenses, I would donate”
All of this is an attempt to justify what you could do, but in reality don’t want to.

You lie to yourself when you look at someone in the street asking for money and you say to yourself that you don’t have enough to give. You may have a home in which to take refuge, a car and a job. It may not pay much, but in reality, you have everything you need.

Reflect for a moment. Do you really have no money, or is it that you lie to yourself so as not to do something that perhaps you don’t want to do?

Being honest can sometimes make you look “bad” or like a “bad person.” However, you don’t have to lie to yourself.

Before going, don’t miss: How To Deal With Liars

4. Words take on the meaning that suits me best

Playing with the meaning of words is a way in which you lie to yourself in order to support beliefs that have no foundation.

For example, you may say that a homosexual couple is unnatural because they cannot have children. However, someone can counter you by saying that then this unnaturalness is also present in heterosexual couples who decide not to have children.

Faced with this confrontation but convinced of your self-deception, you will justify that heterosexual couples can decide, but that homosexuals cannot. Therefore, this type of relationship is unnatural because it does not respond to the principle of reproduction.

In this case, you’re lying to yourself with false reasoning.

5. I don’t talk about what I’m not interested in

I do not discuss what does not interest me

Another way you lie to yourself is when a conversation does not interest you. You may say phrases like “Well, let’s leave that topic,” “Let’s move on to something else.”

By doing this, you avoid something that you cannot fight against and that could open your eyes.

We all self-deceive and lie on multiple occasions, and most of the time we don’t even realize it. Therefore, it’s important that we learn to be self-critical, because only then can we learn and advance.

Living in self-deception does not make us improve as people.


All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.


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  • Godet, M. (2000). La caja de herramientas de la prospectiva estratégica. Cuadernos de LIP, Número 5. https://doi.org/10.1109/CSSE.2008.1307
  • Barrett, L. F. (2006). Personality and Social Psychology Review. Personality and Social Psychology Review. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327957pspr1003
  • Eco, U. (1990). Semiótica y filosofía del lenguaje. Palabra en el tiempo.
  • Foucault, M. (2010). Lo que digo y lo que dicen que digo. Disparen Sobre Foucault.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.