5 Signs that You're a Toxic Person

If you don’t want to be a toxic person to others, then why are you one to yourself? You should be the first person to care about your own wellbeing.
5 Signs that You're a Toxic Person

Last update: 21 May, 2021

There’s a lot of talk about the types of toxic people that exist and that may be around at one time or another. But what if the toxic person was you? Have you ever thought about that? Maybe you have or maybe you haven’t. That’s because it’s always easier to see the speck in someone else’s eye.

Maybe you maintain different relationships or contact with people around you who hurt you because you’re allowing it. Maybe your actions and decisions are more negative than you think. Therefore, today, we’re going to discover 5 signs that may be turning you into a toxic person.

To get a head start, consider the following: A toxic person is one who is self-intoxicated and hurts themselves, not just others.

1. Staying with someone who hurts you

A man and woman sitting on the couch with their backs to one another, looking angry.

Why do you keep a person by your side who’s causing so much damage? If you allow it to continue, it’s not that person’s fault — it’s yours! You may not be meant to live together, or maybe you’re not compatible because you don’t share the same view of the world or the same values. Despite their contempt, you keep them by your side.

When you behave this way, you’re the toxic person. Perhaps not in regard to others, but certainly with regard to yourself. You’re not caring for yourself or protecting yourself from that toxicity that has permeated your relationship. More damaging, you defend the person by your side who you know is destroying you.

2. Blaming yourself for mistakes

No one’s perfect and we all make mistakes. That’s why it’s important to start seeing them as learning opportunities and then move on. If you’re not able to do this and instead you constantly berate yourself for the mistakes from your past, you’re hurting yourself and preventing yourself from moving forward.

Clearly, you’ve become too much of a perfectionist, demanding too much of yourself. Psychoanalyst Michael Formica considers self-blame the most toxic form of emotional abuse. Learn to accept your mistakes and not to blame yourself for them. Being wrong is something positive, so don’t give your mistakes that toxic power.

3. Suppressing your emotions

Thanks to the reality of life, you might have gone through some complicated relationships in which you’ve withstood a lot of damage. This may have caused you to hold back your emotions in order to protect yourself. What you don’t know is that this is much more toxic than you think. If you ignore your emotions, repressing and imprisoning them, more negative ones will come to the surface.

Harvard University studies show that repressing emotions can even cause physical harm. You have to learn to express them without fear. That’s because you have to take risks to get anywhere in life. Emotions are just like wishes and desires—they exist to be transmitted.

If you suppress your emotions, sooner or later they’ll consume you. You’ll turn into a sad person who’s unable to love or be loved. You don’t deserve that. Express what you feel.

4. Being pessimistic

Life isn’t always easy, but adopting a pessimistic attitude is one of the worst things you can do. This will be reflected in your persona and you’ll give off this feeling to others.

No matter how difficult your life is right now, a pessimistic attitude won’t make it better; indeed, you’re almost certainly going to make things worse. Pessimists and whiners are among the most toxic people. Do you really want to be one of them? Let optimism be your best friend and prevent you from doing toxic harm yourself.

5. Always letting others come first is toxic

A woman gazing out the window at a wintery landscape.

Thinking of yourself doesn’t make you a selfish person. Instead, it means that you love and protect yourself. We’re used to being told that we always have to be concerned with the welfare of others, but what about ourselves?

When you change your attitude, you might look like a selfish person to others, and you might even feel like one too. But what you don’t know is that you’re becoming a less toxic person.

One day you yourself might turn into a toxic person without even knowing it. You don’t realize that toxic people not only affect those around them but also themselves.

Learn to check yourself, and don’t be afraid to discover things about you that you might not like. We all make mistakes, but it’s in our power to fix them.

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