Five Reasons Why You May Feel Lonely

You wonder why you have no friends and it might just be due to your high expectations. In any case, you can meet people by changing a few things.
Five Reasons Why You May Feel Lonely

Last update: 14 May, 2021

You have no friends and feel lonely? Pay attention to the following reasons why it may be if so. It’s possible that you’re doing something to drive them away.

Sometimes it’s difficult to be self-critical or accept our own faults. However, it’s a very necessary skill, even more so if you want to have more friends. Let’s look at what might be happening.

Five possible reasons why you have no friends

A woman with a headache.

1. You might have no friends because you’re always complaining

Constant complaining could be a reason why you have no friends, and people do it so often that maybe we don’t realize that we’re doing it. They are so socially accepted you may just settle into them without even realizing it. However, complaining all the time can make people see us as pessimists, which can make us feel lonely.

Complaining can also make us quite selfish. When we complain, only we matter, and we’re so bad that we need the support of everyone else. However, everyone else may get tired of your moaning. Maybe this is why you have no friends.

2. You forget them when you’re in a relationship


Many people forget that they have friends when they’re in a relationship. They only want to be with their partner, and that’s understandable. However, they should also make space to spend time with their friends.

  • Your friends might feel used if you only ever call them or make plans with them when you’re single. Friendships need to be respected.
  • Does your partner really need all of your time? Do you really not have time for your friends?

The falling-in-love phase blinds us so much that we can lose sight of the people who are always there to listen to us and console us when we have problems.

Don’t leave your friends to one side when you’re in a relationship. They’re extremely valuable and you might even want to bring them together sometimes.

3. High expectations

A needy woman.

Another reason for having no friends could be that your expectations of their behavior are too high. This sometimes also happens between partners. This can be frustrating and tiring.

Expecting other people to behave how you think they should, or for them to be a particular type of friend, can be difficult expectations to fulfill. No one is going to behave a certain way just because we want them to. Get rid of expectations as these often destroy friendships.

4. Low self-esteem might be the reason why you feel lonely


Another common reason you might have no friends is low self-esteem. This is because many problems can develop in your interpersonal relationships when you have low self-esteem.

  • Maybe you expect too much of other people, or you feel attacked when they’re not how you expect, or sad when you’re not the center of attention.
  • With all this, it’s possible that you close yourself off, that you barely interact with your friends, perhaps not even bothering to make plans with them. That friendship might just eventually end.

It’s important that you go to see a professional to help with low self-esteem, and that you get out to meet new people.

Start going to the gym, or to an interest group. This will allow you to learn that there are other people in the world who can form part of your circle of friends. Be open to meeting new people.

5. You may feel lonely because you gossip about everyone

A gossipy woman soon to feel lonely.

Many people gossip, the problem arises when they gossip to one friend about another. What’s the dilemma? That they’ll soon realize what you do behind their back.

This attitude can also make your friends lose trust in you, stop being honest with you, and eventually stop being your friend.

Trust is important in every relationship. Surely, it’s normal to talk about them once in a while but it’s a negative attitude when it comes to friendships when you do it repeatedly and constantly.

Are any of these the reason that you have no friends? Even if you’re a very solitary person, having friends is necessary and very healthy, as long as you make yourself responsible for these bonds. Friendship must always be reciprocal!

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  • Azmitia, M., Ittel, A., & Radmacher, K. (2005). Narratives of friendship and self in adolescence. New directions for child and adolescent development, 2005(107), 23-39.