5 Reasons Why You May Feel Lonely

04 December, 2018
We all feel lonely sometimes, but when we start to lose our friendsips due to our behaviour, then it's time to pay attention to our destructive habits.

Do you complain that you have no friends? Do you feel lonely? If so, pay attention to the following reasons for having no friends. It’s possible that you’re doing something to drive them away.

Sometimes it’s difficult to be self-critical or accept our own faults. However, it’s a very necessary skill, even more so if you want to have more friends.

Let’s look at what might be happening.

1. You’re always complaining


Constant complaining could be a reason why you have no friends, and people do it so often that maybe we don’t realize that we’re doing it.

Complaining all the time can make people see us as pessimists, which can make us feel lonely.

Complaining can also make us quite selfish. When we complain, only we matter, and we’re so bad that we need the support of everyone else.

However, everyone else may get tired of your moaning. Maybe this is why you have no friends.

Read also: Going Out with Your Friends Benefits Your Emotional Health, and Here’s Why

2. You forget them when you’re in a relationship


Many people forget that they have friends when they’re in a relationship.

They only want to be with their partner, and that’s understandable. However, they should also make space to spend time with their friends.

  • Your friends might feel used if you only ever call them or make plans with them when you’re single. Friendships need to be respected.
  • Does your partner really need all of your time? Do you really not have time for your friends?

The falling-in-love phase blinds us so much that we can lose sight of the people who are always there to listen to us and console us when we have problems.

Don’t leave your friends to one side when you’re in a relationship. They’re extremely valuable, otherwise, you will feel lonely.

3. Your expectations are too high


Another reason for having no friends could be that your expectations of their behavior are too high.

This sometimes also happens between partners. This can be frustrating and tiring.

Expecting other people to behave how you think they should, or for them to be a particular type of friend, can be difficult expectations to fulfill.

No one is going to behave a certain way just because we want them to. Get rid of expectations that destroy friendships, otherwise, you may feel lonely.

Read also: Friendships Between Women: A Sensational Way to Combat Stress

4. You have low self-esteem


Another really common reason that you might have no friends is low self-esteem. When you suffer from low self-esteem, many problems can develop in your interpersonal relationships.

  • Maybe you expect too much of other people, or you feel attacked when they’re not how you expect, or sad when you’re not the center of attention.
  • With all this, it’s possible that you close yourself off, that you barely interact with your friends, perhaps not even bothering to make plans with them.

In the end, that friendship will end up exhausted.

It’s important that you go to see a professional to help with low self-esteem, and that you get out to meet new people.

Start going to the gym, or to an interest group. This will allow you to learn that there are other people in the world who can form part of your circle of friends. Be open to meeting new people.

5. You gossip about everyone


There are many people who tend to gossip among their friends. The problem arises when they gossip to one friend about another.

To begin with, that friend will realize how you act behind their back.

This attitude can also make your friends lose trust in you, stop being honest with you, and eventually stop being your friend.

In all relationships, trust is important. Sure, it’s normal that sometimes you’ll talk about a friend. But if you’re doing it repeatedly and constantly, it demonstrates areally negative attitude when it comes to friendships.

Are any of these the reason that you have no friends? Even if you’re a very solitary person, having friends is necessary and very healthy, as long as you’re responsible with those bonds.

  • Azmitia, M., Ittel, A., & Radmacher, K. (2005). Narratives of friendship and self in adolescence. New directions for child and adolescent development, 2005(107), 23-39.