We all want to be perfect mothers and fathers. The idea of bringing a child into the world carries a lot of responsibility. And it’s normal to sometimes obsess about being a supermom, reading endless books and articles on parenting and getting your kids involved in a lot of extracurricular activities with the idea that they’re the best, the smartest, and the most successful.
But, we need to remember that the kids never asked you to be the best mom in the world. What all children need is you to be with them, to make them happy and help them safely mature to make their own decisions and choose their own path. It’s about caring, without being overprotective, and teaching them from the heart.
It’s also import to keep in mind these parenting mistakes that we sometimes make when raising our children. They’re mistakes that shouldn’t be ignored. Discover them with us!
Common Parenting Mistakes
1. Not listening to your child
We know. Kids spend the day asking questions, telling us things and making imaginative comments that we don’t always understand. Be patient and listen to each word your child says as if it were the most important thing in the world because, in reality, it is.
If you don’t pay attention to them, or tell them that you’re busy or don’t have time, there will come a day when your child will stop telling you things and will prefer to lock themselves in their room with the computer, which is dangerous.
2. Punishing them for each thing they do wrong
Children need to have limits, to understand what is right and what is wrong and what is expected of them. But, to grow and mature, making mistakes is unavoidable and it’s common for children to make mistakes, to occasionally misbehave and react inappropriately.
When raising our children, we learn that after a punishment, a lesson should be taught. That is to say, if they do something bad, teach them the right way. If they fail a course, ask what happened; if they hit a child at school, explain that those actions aren’t right, but also ask what led them to behave that way.
Teaching is not punishing, but creating bridges of learning. So don’t forget to reinforce each thing they do well and guide them through their mistakes.
3. Doing things for them
They make take a long time to tie their shoes or solve math problems. If nothing changes, give it time. Don’t worry if their siblings or other children finished their work sooner. You need to understand that every child is unique and you need to respect their unique characteristics.
If we do things for them to make their life easier, we’ll be committing one of the worst parenting mistakes. Being overprotective is a good way to raise immature and insecure children. So give them time and responsibilities each day so they can learn about strength and dedication. When they accomplish things for themselves, they’ll feel full of pride.
4. Expecting your child to match up with your desires
Your son is an introvert? He likes things you don’t understand? He’s more independent than you’d like him to be? Respect his personality and support him in every thing he does.
Each child has their own character and this is something we need to understand from the start. It’s good for them to have their own ideas. This will help guide them in the world to be happy.
Child rearing doesn’t mean raising identical children with little minds that all think alike. Help your child find their own path to become a mature person with their own personality and way of being.
5. Comparing them with other children
Comparing your child with other children is one of the parenting mistakes you should never make. There are mothers and fathers that mindlessly say things in front of their child like:
“My son isn’t as smart as yours. What is he going to be when he grows up?” or “My older son is more shy than the younger one and that’s why he doesn’t have any friends. The other, however, gets along well and never gives me problems.”
We need to watch our words carefully because children understand more than we think, which in the long term, can be truly traumatic for them. Comparing them with others will leave them with feelings of inferiority and low self-esteem that can damage their emotional maturity.
Never do it, never make comparisons. Each one of your children is unique and special with their own unique characteristics. Love them equally and cultivate their maturity, responsibility and self esteem to raise them to be happy people.
How we raise our children is really important, don’t make the parenting mistakes we’ve outlined in this article.