Five Parenting Mistakes We Make with Our Children
Educating children is a difficult task and a great responsibility. Sometimes, it's right, and other times, mistakes are made, but the well-being of the children must always come first.
We all want to be perfect parents. Thus, the idea of bringing a child into the world carries a lot of responsibility. We want them to go to the best schools, take the best extracurricular activities, with the idea in our minds of being the best, the smartest, and the most successful. However, despite trying our best, we sometimes fall into making certain parenting mistakes.
Sometimes, without thinking, you can make many mistakes. Many times without even noticing. While struggling to give them the best life, you’ll forget some details, that honestly, you shouldn’t have.
When educating children, you must be awake and attentive to multiple factors so the education doesn’t just depend on the good reputation of an institution, a specific teacher, or an extracurricular activity.
But, we need to remember that the kids never asked you to be the best parent in the world. What all children need is you to be with them, to make them happy and help them safely mature to make their own decisions and choose their own path.
Let’s see the types of mistakes any parent can make when raising children.
1. Not listening to them
We know that kids spend the day asking questions, telling us multiple things, and making imaginative comments that we don’t always understand. However, be patient and listen to each word your child says as if it were the most important thing in the world because, in reality, it is.
If you don’t pay attention to them, tell them that you’re busy or don’t have time, there will come a day when your child will stop telling you things.
Your child will then prefer to lock themselves in their room with the computer, which can be dangerous as it promotes isolation.
2. Punishing them for every single thing they do wrong
Children need to have limits, to understand what is right and what is wrong and what is expected of them. This way they’ll be able to grow confident by knowing what’s expected of them at all times.
However, in order to grow and mature, making mistakes is unavoidable and it’s common for children to make mistakes, to occasionally misbehave, and react inappropriately.
When raising our children, we learn that after a punishment, a lesson should be taught. That is to say, if they do something bad, teach them the lesson the right way. If they fail a course, ask what happened; if they hit a child at school, explain that those actions aren’t right, but also ask what led them to behave that way.
Teaching is not punishing but creating bridges of learning. And so, don’t forget to reinforce each thing they do well and guide them through their mistakes.
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3. Doing things for them
They make take a long time to tie their shoes or solve math problems. If nothing changes, give it time.
However, don’t worry if their siblings or other children finished their work sooner. You need to understand that every child is unique and you need to respect their unique characteristics.
If we do things for them to make their life easier, we’ll be committing one of the worst parenting mistakes.
Being overprotective is a good way to raise immature and insecure children. And so, give them time and responsibilities each day so they can learn about strength and dedication. When they accomplish things for themselves, they’ll feel full of pride.
4. Expecting your child to match up with your desires
Is your child an introvert? Does he like things you don’t understand? Is he more independent than you’d like him to be? Respect his personality and support him in everything he does.
Each child has their own character and this is something we need to understand from the start. And so, it’s good for them to have their own ideas. This will help guide them in the world to be happy.
Child-rearing doesn’t mean raising identical children with little minds that all think alike. Thus, help your child find their own path to become a mature person with their own personality and way of being.
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5. Comparing them with other children is one of the biggest parenting mistakes
Comparing your child with other children is one of the parenting mistakes you should never make.
There are mothers and fathers that mindlessly say things in front of their child such as: “My son isn’t as smart as yours. What is he going to be when he grows up?” or “My older son is shyer than the younger one and that’s why he doesn’t have any friends.
We need to watch our words carefully because children understand more than we think, which in the long term, can be truly traumatic for them.
According to this study by the International University of La Rioja, comparisons convey a feeling of inferiority and can trigger possible low self-esteem that would end up seriously damaging their emotional maturity.
Never, under any circumstances should we make comparisons. Each one of your children is unique and special with their own unique characteristics. Love them equally and cultivate their maturity, responsibility, and self-esteem to raise them to be happy.
Parenting mistakes and child education
Children are never going to ask you to be the best parents in the world. What every child needs is for their parents to be present; to help them build up the confidence to make their own decisions and choose their own path.
The education of children requires taking care of them without overprotecting, setting limits with love and correcting, recognizing effort, and working together as a team.
If you make some mistakes, you shouldn’t be left with negative thoughts like “I messed up” and “I’m a bad parent.” On the contrary, you must try to learn from the situation and try to do better the next time. No one is perfect and no one is born with innate parenting knowledge.