4 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Break Up With Your Partner - Step To Health

4 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Break Up With Your Partner

Do you have a lot of problems with your partner lately? Learn important questions you should ask yourself before you break up.
4 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Break Up With Your Partner

Last update: 24 November, 2021

Do you have a lot of problems with your partner lately? Are you no longer comfortable with that person, or do you feel like the spark is gone? Do you think it might be time to break up?

If you think a breakup is looming closer, first take the time to think about whether you can change things to have a better relationship. All relationships change, and it takes an open mind to see when the time has come to take a break and talk. Decide together which is the best path for both of you.

Breaking up with your partner is not always the right solution. If you’re not sure which way to go, ask yourself the following questions before deciding.

1. Does this person and your relationship with them bring out the best in you?

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All people and relationships influence us in some way. The person you decide to have a relationship with should make you feel good. Does this relationship fulfill this goal, or do you spend their lives arguing or being full of criticism and envy?

  • A symptom that you should break up with your partner is when that person generates insecurities or envy that you don’t have in other circumstances. 
  • On the contrary, if they make you feel safe, self-respecting, and inspire you to set new goals and achieve them, maybe it’s good to continue.

However, this question has one case where you should be careful: if the demand to be better is excessive. Some toxic partners push you to be better through negative messages.

However, there are also those for which you will never finish being good enough. In this sense, it may be a relationship with emotional violence that’s best to end as soon as possible.

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2. Why do you want to break up with your partner right now?

If the idea of ending that relationship has come up in recent days, you must analyze where the idea comes from. What things have changed in the last months, weeks, or days that suddenly have led you to this question?

It seems like an obvious question, and anyone would say it’s because they’re longer happy. But what else is going on? What new people or situations are there in your life now?

If suddenly you’ve realized that you no longer love your partner, it’s worth ending the relationship. However, if there are other factors, you have to analyze their importance and if they’re really worth it.

Among these, you can find that a new person came into your life. This does not necessarily have to mean infidelity. Sometimes, a person comes in and dazzles us with their attention or nice words.

Analyze if this implies that there’s no more love or that you need to put your feet on the ground because you could get a good setback in this case.

Another situation that could lead you to think about breaking up with your partner is that it no longer matches your expectations. Some people attach great importance to material things, such as money or work, and once they grow up, they start looking for someone who is more “on their level.”

Think about if these factors are really more important than the love that person offers you. The decision is yours alone, but you will have to live with it.

3. Before breaking up with your partner, ask yourself: Is it possible to make any changes?

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Before breaking with your partner, remember that being with someone implies certain commitments. Following that idea, identify if there’s a problem that’s leading you to this decision.

Once you have it well defined, analyze if you could do something to change the situation or if it’s necessary for your partner to do so. Then, have a chat and see if you’re willing to do so.

When there’s a lot of love in a relationship, it’s easy to make commitments that improve the situation, leading to the point where you are happy together. If they don’t succeed in the end, at least you’ll end up knowing that you tried and will be able to continue your lives in peace.

We recommend that you don’t assume that your partner will make a certain decision. Sometimes, we think it’s better to end it because we can’t imagine the other person making an effort or changing. However, it could be that your parter is focused on other issues and may not have realized how bad things are.

4. Should I really break up with this person, or do I just need to take some time?

Couple arguing

We all go through times when we need to spend more time alone. However, some believe that being in a relationship implies being together all the time.

Before breaking with your partner, evaluate if what you need is simply some time away from everything. In fact, it’s advisable to do so before cutting off a relationship in any circumstance.

Don’t be afraid to ask your partner for this. It’s normal and very healthy in every relationship. It might surprise you to discover that you’re happier and more in love the next time you see each other than ever. It’s common for everyday life to bore us, and we stop getting excited. However, after a break, the illusion may return.

In any case, remember that you can always consult with a couples therapist on these issues. Couples therapy can be of great help in many instances!

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