4 Excuses That Shouldn't Prevent You From Ending Your Relationship

30 March, 2019
In some relationships, sometimes it's time for each partner to decide whether they want to stay together or not. If these are some of your excuses to try to stay together, then it's probably time to end the relationship.

Your relationship should be built in a foundation of trust and mutual support. In some relationships, sometimes it’s time for each partner to decide whether they want to stay together or not. If these are some of your excuses to try to stay together, then it’s probably time to end the relationship.

Often, however, because of the love you have for your partner and because of all those difficulties you’ve overcome together, you begin to justify inexcusable things.

This is a mistake. Sometimes it’s due to fear. Other times it’s because we don’t want to have to start a new relationship. Despite this, if any of these following thoughts cross your mind, it’s probably time to cut your losses and end the relationship.

4 Excuses That Shouldn’t Prevent You From Ending Your Relationship

1. We’ve failed


The truth is that nobody likes failure, let alone if it has to do with a relationship. Failure, in this case, feels unforgivable.

This thought is one of the reasons why some peopled may not want to split up with their partner. When it crops up, it leads to the fear of social disapproval.

We even feel guilty because we think that this failure is our own fault. Maybe we didn’t give everything we could have…Maybe we didn’t love our partner as much as we should have…

These are just excuses to stop you from making the decision to end a relationship that no longer makes sense to maintain.

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The end of your relationship isn’t a failure. In fact, it’s a completely normal situation. Over time and after spending so much time together, everything ends up wearing us down and, sometimes, causes us not to want to continue walking the same path together.

Stop being afraid of what others will say. The really important thing is how you feel. Don’t stick with someone because you feel guilty that the relationship hasn’t been a success.

2. Think of the children


Of course, you always have to think about your children, but not the way you think you have to. Couples are often mistaken in how to protect their children when dealing with this negative situation.

Staying together just for your children is a big mistake. The arguments won’t stop, the relationship will become even more strained, and in the end, everything will explode.

Your children will have to deal with a toxic environment. Furthermore, they won’t be comfortable and will witness negative behavior that will not be beneficial to them.

We often believe that children need a united family and to be raised by a couple that loves each other and is still together. However, this is a misconception. Children need their parents to give them love and to be as happy as possible. This doesn’t necessarily mean that their parents need to have a significant other.

By accepting the fact that it’s better to end your relationship, your children won’t be forced to grow up in an uncomfortable environment.

When you stay with your partner for your children, you’re ultimately forcing yourself to be with someone you don’t want to be with.


3. I’m afraid of being alone

Many people develop emotional dependence, especially if they’ve been with someone for many years and have never really been alone.

This can be a problem when you’re deciding whether to end your relationship or not. This is because it will cause fear and anxiety about separating from your partner.

This fear of being alone may be heightened if you’ve already reached a mature age. For example, we often believe that the older we are, the less likely we are to find a partner. Since relationships are important in the society we live in, we choose to stay with our partner despite everything. This is simply because we don’t want to be the odd one out.

The result is undoubtedly catastrophic. It can cause partners to become truly detached to each other and themselves. It also prevents them from being able to start a new relationship with a more suitable partner and – more importantly – to learn to love and respect themselves.

It’s not easy to get out of this situation, but the effort is worth it. Being alone is an adventure. Above all, because you will find out who you really are and what you really need to be happy.

When you discover and accept this, you won’t be afraid anymore. This because you will continually have yourself as company.

Discover more: How to Improve Self-Esteem After a Breakup

4. I won’t see my friends again


It’s natural that couples who have been together for many years share their friendships. This is something that is not a big problem until you talk about separating.

Many people believe that staying together may be the best option to avoid losing friends. This also applies to in-laws who we’ve gotten close to.

It’s true that you will need some time to reconnect with them. However, this doesn’t mean that you’ll lose them.

First, you’ll have to go through the natural stages of the breakup and then your life will gradually go back to normal. Your friends will come with it. Even you and your partner may become best friends!

So, in this case, this fear is completely unfounded.

If you’re thinking about ending your relationship, don’t let yourself be influenced by these excuses. In reality, all they will do is force you to be in a situation that you don’t want to be in.

Put yourself first and think about what’s be best for you.

  • VV.AA. (2011).Breaking Up is Hard to do: The Impact of Unmarried Relationship Dissolution on Mental Health and Life Satisfaction. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3115386/
  • Perilloux, Carin.,Buss, David. (2008).Breaking up Romantic Relationships: Costs Experienced and Coping Strategies Deployed. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/147470490800600119
  • Kansky, Jessica., Allen, Joseph P. (2018).Making Sense and Moving On: The Potential for Individual and Interpersonal Growth Following Emerging Adult Breakups. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6051550/