You feel those knots in your throat and your stomach. Your breathing changes. You’ve been to the core of disappointment and it has trapped you there. However, you can get out of this place.
The positive side of disappointment is that it gives you the opportunity to learn and to become aware of what you’ve done wrong and find solutions so that you won’t get hurt again.
To do this, it is important to make an effort to change certain acquired habits that may well be rather irrational, such as expectations.
After all, almost every high expectation ends up collapsing, allowing reality to take its place. And that’s when disappointment raises its head.
Today, we’d like to look at 3 ways to move forward.
1. Talk about how you feel
The best way to come out of disappointment stronger is to express what you feel. This is not just because you want to share your feelings with others, but also to get them off your chest.
Believe it or not, speaking out loud will allow you to realize certain things that, if you’d kept them quiet, you perhaps wouldn’t be aware of.
For example, you may be aware that you created a false image of that person, which led you to believe that they were something that in reality didn’t exist.
Also, talking about it will help you to regulate your emotions. You will find your emotions are close to the surface and you’ll suddenly start to cry or explode in anger.
Don’t miss: Psychosomatic Illness: Emotions and the Body
It is important to recognize them, identify them and, above all, release them. This way, they won’t get deeply embedded inside us and we can allow them to follow their course.
You’ll feel much better once you have got them off your chest completely, leaving nothing inside.
2. What have you learned?
Every experience, whether good or bad, leads to learning, which makes us more mature and better people. Disappointment is a part of that, so you shouldn’t feel like a victim. Rather, you should feel privileged.
The more situations of different kinds that we experience, the more we will learn about ourselves and about others.
We get the opportunity to see our own limitations when we meet new people, realizing how, in some way or another, we idealize them so that they become what we want them to be.
We can become aware of when we’ve expected too much from someone else and doing that is a dangerous game.
People can behave in all sorts of ways and can surprise us with the smallest change. Not expecting anything from them saves us a lot of suffering.
3. Trusting people again
This is the most difficult bit, but also the most important: learning to trust people again even though they might fail you again.
Not all people are the same, but it is also true that we can’t go around blind. Everyone is capable of becoming a different person overnight.
This happens. Our biggest problem is that we continue to expect that things will happen how we want them to.
It is important to trust people again, but taking into account what you’ve just learned. Leave expectations and idealizations to one side. Open your eyes fully and stick to reality.
It is difficult, but with patience you will be able to do it.
Enjoying your relationships in the present is the most intelligent thing to do, though also the most difficult.
We build up illusions, without meaning to, and we dream of a fabulous life with a promising future at the side of those who give us so much happiness now.
Before you go we suggest you read: Learn More by Opening Your Eyes than Your Mouth
They won’t fail you, but the blindfold you have over your eyes will drop away and you will come face to face with reality.
You’ve been blind all this time and it is time for you to become conscious of what is happening. There is no disappointment if you keep your eyes open from the start.
When you accept that disappointment is something natural that is part of the learning process, you won’t be prone to the same mistakes.
Instead, you will come out of them stronger.