3 Reasons to Use Self-Dialogue to Your Advantage

Self-dialogue can be negative and condition us in our daily lives. How can we improve it and change it into something positive? Discover how to use self-dialogue to your advantage in the following article.
3 Reasons to Use Self-Dialogue to Your Advantage

Last update: 16 July, 2021

Do you know what self-dialogue is? Do you notice yourself doing it? Today, we want to tell you how to use self-dialogue to your advantage.

Self-dialogue is a conversation we have with ourselves without realizing it. For example, when we make a mistake and we say to ourselves “I messed up in this, how come I couldn’t do it?” It’s normal not to verbalize it, although there may be times when we do.

The biggest problem with self-dialogue is that it tends to focus on the negative. Surely we can identify with phrases we say to ourselves such as “well, that didn’t go well”. If we analyze our self-talk for just a few days, we’ll discover that we talk to ourselves quite poorly.

This self-dialogue of disapproval, if maintained over time, will end up denting our self-esteem. We’re not as bad as we think we are, nor are we as terrible for having done something specific.

Reasons to use self-dialogue to your advantage

There are many reasons for you to start practicing self-dialogue to your advantage. We often talk to ourselves and treat ourselves very badly, and since we don’t usually verbalize it, we don’t even consider whether what we say to ourselves is good or bad. The truth is that this influences us more than we think.

1. It influences our emotions

When we practice self-talk, we’re able to see situations differently or make more accurate decisions. This reassures us, creates calm, and helps us to manage our emotions much better.

A woman at a crossroads.
Self-dialogue helps us to make better decisions, because we analyze what’s happening more objectively.

2. Increases self-knowledge

Another reason to practice self-dialogue is that it allows us to know ourselves better. We’re able to connect with ourselves, with what happens to us, and with what we feel. We could say that self-dialogue enriches us.

3. Reduces anticipatory anxiety

This is an ailment that many people suffer from. Anticipatory anxiety arises when nothing’s happened yet that could trigger it. Talking to ourselves can help reduce it and prevent it from appearing.

Tips for practicing positive self-dialogue

Now that you’ve got all these good reasons to practice self-dialogue, how should you start? Some people communicate with themselves unconsciously and even use self-dialogue to their advantage. But many others, as may be your case, need some tips to start working with this powerful tool.

Keeping a journal

Journaling’s useful, as it’s a tool that we all have at our disposal and which we only need to dedicate a few minutes to each day. It also helps you to go back over what you’ve written and reflect on it from a perspective that may help you.

A woman writing in her journal.
Through writing, we encourage reflective thinking about who we are and what we do. It organizes us and helps us.

Questioning your self-dialogue

Another way to improve your self-dialogue is to question it. To do that, you should go back over what you’ve written in the journal and ask yourself some questions, such as “am I judging who I am rather than the way I’ve acted?”

Changing the way we talk to ourselves

If the answer to the question of whether you’re being too negative or only seeing the bad part of what happened is yes, then it’s time to make a change. All those phrases you say to yourself can hurt you.

We often talk to ourselves in a negative way and it’s essential that we change this. Some examples of positive phrases you can say to yourself are the following:

Although this may seem silly, it works. Our self-dialogue is powerful, and it’s important that we harness it.

Most of us speak to ourselves in a way that we’d never speak to anyone else. So here’s the key: We must take care of ourselves and respect ourselves as we would other people.

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  • Montero García, F. (2016). Influencia del autodiálogo, necesidades psicológicas básicas, relación entrenador-deportista y la ansiedad.
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