There are all kinds of problems that the two people in a relationship face. One of them is getting the fire back, the fire that used to be there, but has gone out.
But don’t worry, it’s always possible to improve a relationship.
A lot of people complain that “we don’t do it as often as before,” “This didn’t happen the first few years”, “Does he not want me anymore?”, “I don’t think I please him like I used to”…
All of these complaints come from somewhere. Routine, obligations, kids, and just life… they’ve turned into excuses to not make an effort to keep the fire lit, assuming that it will always be there even if it’s neglected.
All of this is why we’re going to give you 3 tips that you will have no excuse for. They are steps you should take to get the fire back and improve a relationship.
“Read this, too: 6 Habits that Will Improve Your Sex Life”
1. Get to know yourself better (self-discovery)
Many people think they know themselves when they really don’t. You see this when you’re in a relationship and you don’t know how to get the fire back.
What gets me excited? What arouses me? Did any past sexual relations leave a mark on me? Do I want to try something new but I’m embarrassed?
All of these questions should be answered honestly, since that will give you a starting point for the next step.
If you don’t know what you like, you can’t get the fire back because you won’t know where to start or how to communicate to your significant other what you like.
That’s why it’s important to take time to reflect, putting your fears, false beliefs, and other thoughts that are hurting your relationship and keeping you from enjoying sex with your significant other.
2. Communicate with your significant other
Once you’ve taken that first step and now know what you like, it’s time to talk about it openly with your significant other. No covering up, no embarrassment, no limits.
It may seem strange to have the trust to show your naked self to someone and be intimate and then be embarrassed to tell them what you like, where they can touch, or what they can do to get you in the mood.
In a relationship, trust should be present in all aspects and this includes the area of sex. You can’t expect the other person to read your mind because that’s not going to happen.
It’s time to stop the guessing game and speak clearly. To get the fire back, you should be honest.
What do you like? Is there anyone you want to try? What do you not like and want to change?
“You may want to read: 7 Things You Should Never Tolerate in Your Relationship”
3. It’s time to act!
Everything we said above is all well and good, but it doesn’t do anything if you don’t put it into action, to get that spark back.
This is the fun part. It means getting out of your comfort zone and exploring new areas to get you going again.
Do you remember how nervous you were at the beginning of your relationship? That sexual tension that took over sometimes? Well you can get all of this back again, as long as both people are willing.
The mystery of not knowing what may happen this time or dreaming about what could happen. It all feeds that fire, makes you want your significant other again, want to be with them this way.
“Before you go, don’t miss: Habits for a Happy Relationship”
It will take a great deal of effort and willingness to get out of your cozy comfort zone. You may feel like the tips above won’t do anything.
However,they are resources that will help you break out of this comfort zone.
Don’t just give up. Most relationships have a time like this where the fire goes out and there’s no more sex drive.
However, you’re going to change this today, because now is the time to get that spark back.