Three Keys to Bring Back the Spark in a Relationship

You may feel fine in your comfort zone, but routine and monotony are two of the worst things for sex drive. So, get to business and bring back the spark in your relationship.
Three Keys to Bring Back the Spark in a Relationship

Last update: 03 January, 2021

There are all kinds of problems that the two people in a relationship face. One of them to bring back the spark, that fire that used to be there but it’s now seemingly gone.

A lot of people lament that “we don’t do it as often as before,” “This didn’t happen in the first few years,” “I no longer turn them on,” “I don’t please them like I used to…”

There’s a reason for every one of these grievances though. They have to do with routine, duties, children, and just life in general. Unfortunately, they’re now excuses to stop making an effort to maintain the initial fire that brought two people together — assuming they’ll always be there even if you neglect them.

Tips to bring back the spark in a relationship

Here are three essential keys to fix your relationship and there’s no excuse to not take these steps in order to regain your lost desire.

1. Get to know yourself better


Many people think they know themselves when they really don’t. You see this when you’re in a relationship and you don’t know how to bring back the spark.

What excites you? What arouses you? Did any past sexual relations leave a mark on you? Do you want to try something new but are embarrassed? You must honestly answer every single one of these questions. This is because they’re a great starting point for the next step.

You can’t get the fire back when you don’t know what you like; thus, you won’t know where to start or how to communicate it to your significant other.

This is why it’s important to take time to reflect, putting your fears, false beliefs, and other thoughts that are hurting your relationship and keeping you from enjoying sex with your significant other.

2. Communicate with your significant other

Communicate with your significant other

Once you’ve taken that first step and now know what you like, it’s time to talk about it openly with your significant other. No covering up, no embarrassment, no limits.

It may seem strange to have the trust to show your naked self to someone and be intimate and then be embarrassed to tell them what you like, where they can touch, or what they can do to get you in the mood.

In a relationship, trust should be present in all aspects and this includes the area of sex. You can’t expect the other person to read your mind because that’s not going to happen.

It’s time to stop the guessing game and speak clearly. To get the fire back, you should be honest. What do you like? Is there anyone you want to try? What do you not like and want to change?

3. It’s time to take action!


Everything we said above is all well and good, but it doesn’t do anything if you don’t put it into action, to get that spark back. This is the fun part. It means getting out of your comfort zone and exploring new areas to get you going again.

A couple smiling under the blankets.

Do you remember how nervous you were at the beginning of your relationship? That sexual tension that took over sometimes? Well, you can get all of this back again, as long as both people are willing.

The mystery of not knowing what may happen this time or dreaming about what could happen. It all feeds that fire, makes you want your significant other again, want to be with them this way.

Re-establish your relationship and bring back the spark

It’ll take a great deal of effort and willingness to get out of your cozy comfort zone. You may feel like the tips above won’t do anything. However, they are resources that will help you break out of this comfort zone. Don’t just give up.

It’s normal for sex drive to change over the years. This is because emotional and physical changes can often make it disappear.

Most couples go through this loss of sexual drive. Thus, don’t hesitate to seek help from a sexologist or couple’s psychologist if you’re in this situation. It’s time to bring back the spark in your relationship!