It’s Not Love if You Have to Ask for It

We want to make it clear that the only person absolutely essential for your happiness is yourself. If you have healthy self-esteem and self-respect, it will be much more difficult for others to hurt you.
It's Not Love if You Have to Ask for It

Never sacrifice your self worth for someone who doesn’t know what you’ve got. If someone fails to see your importance, ignores, abandons or disrespects you, don’t beg for their attention or love because it won’t be real or sincere.

Don’t take a bite of the poisoned apple that is indifferent love, you will suffer greatly for it.

If “you’re asking for too much”, it’s only because you know what you want and how important it is to you. It’s you who must first value your own thoughts, opinions, desires and behavior.

We need to keep our distance from those people that threaten the emotional balance we all crave.

Recall your innermost desires, listen to and love yourself because you’re the only one who can help yourself break free from false love.


You never need to beg for love

Begging for love means asking for something that doesn’t exist outside of your mind. The only things that come from begging are a lack of self respect, a hindrance to your emotional development and the pain that comes with the loss of your dignity.

Want to know more? Read: Emotional Maturity Is Knowing that Life Isn’t Perfect

When we love someone, we naturally want to care for them and avoid heartache. Our emotional reflexes invite us to create circumstances that make us feel deserving of love, fostering emotions and feelings that promote harmony, sincerity and affection.

If you don’t deal with false love, you’ll end up believing what they make you feel. You’ll end up thinking that you don’t deserve attention or affection, and you’ll finish by convincing yourself that one-sided relationships are OK.

In the end, it’s simple: the person that deserves you is the one that approaches you on their own, appreciates you and dedicates their time and thoughts to you.


No one can make you unhappy without your permission

The most powerful tool for fighting emotional injustice and indifference is self-determination. This should be accompanied by a sense of healthy self-esteem, self-knowledge and reflecting on feelings, desires and your own and others’ behavior.

However, the process by which we end up in these circumstances speaks to our lack of dignity. What we seem to miss is that we shouldn’t pursue those that don’t deserve us.

In this sense, we need to know how to employ some successful strategies for overcoming the pain of false love. Let’s take a look at some common situations:

  • The pain of false love is a hard process that feeds a painful precomtemplation phase. Generally, we know that “something isn’t right”, but we don’t want to put it into words or take off our emotional blindfolds.
  • We ignore the discomfort and avoid it, holding onto the belief that the emotional problem will resolve itself on its own naturally.
  • When we finally give into the discomfort, there comes a time when the discomfort is too much to bear and it forces us to face the issue before we’re overwhelmed.
  • But what happens when we fight our own feelings? The focus controls us and the fight turns into an endless battle that only prolongs the suffering.
  • It’s also common to hear about “embracing the pain”. Neither ignoring or embracing it is positive.


What you really need to handle the pain of false love is to deal with it and walk away with the understanding that it hurts because what we really want is someone to love us and the other person probably doesn’t care or love us back.

In order to overcome the pain, the next step is to put a solution into practice.

What is the right solution? Convincing ourselves that if we can’t get the appreciation we’re looking for naturally, then it’s going to be even more difficult to try to earn it. The right thing for us is to stay away from that person because only then can we be sure that we’ll overcome the pain.

To end the suffering that comes with false love, we first need to understand and accept it. It’s only natural to mourn the loss of something that you wanted so badly.

Don’t forget to read: No One Deserves Your Love More than You Do

Love and appreciate yourself: feed your relationships with self-esteem

Although every emotional situation is complex, all suffering has a solution. True change is possible when we’re willing to work at it and face the painful situation.

So, it should be clear that the first person that we need to dedicate our time to is ourselves. Then we’ll be able to appreciate who makes us feel good and who doesn’t.


Don’t beg for attention, much less love, from anyone because anyone who loves you will show you in one way or another.

Remember that emotional injustice plays a role in developing our own self-esteem. It helps us to examine our desires, values and needs.

Don’t keep calling someone who won’t answer your calls. Stop looking and start letting them find you. Stop wondering about the people that are only present in your life in postcard mode. You know, the ones who are only concerned with appearances and will only make you feel good if there are other people around to notice it.

Don’t forget to examine the reasons that fostered your attachment to that person in the first place. What made you want to beg for their love and attention? Go to the source and start your internal transformation.

It’s essential to nourish your self-esteem and stop begging for love because love is shown and felt. You should never have to ask for love. Your attention and affection are too valuable to waste on someone that doesn’t deserve you.

Dedicate yourself to those that love and understand you unconditionally.