Happiness Comes from Within, Not from Someone Else

First and foremost, to achieve happiness, you must be at peace and at ease with yourself. From that point, you can cultivate this state in everything you do.

Written and verified by psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 04 August, 2022

Happiness can be formed in many different ways. Yet one thing is certain: happiness comes from within, not from without.

Whether it’s alone or next to the person you love, this positive and ever-rewarding emotion comes from a specific and almost magical place: the emotional brain.

That’s why we want to be clear about one point: being with someone you love is a wonderful thing, but sometimes, even with the best partner in the world, if you don’t feel good about yourself, then total happiness will never be possible.

Wellness, balance, and joy should always come from within you. The best way to find happiness, whether alone or with someone else, comes from peace in your heart and feeling good about everything that you are.

Today we invite you to reflect on this subject.

Happiness comes from within – it’s about the inner journey

Lately, there’s been a trend seen in bookstore aisles where people write about personal growth. These authors attempt to explain how to cultivate happiness during difficult times.

It’s certainly ironic that even for us who live in a society with many resources and technologies, feelings of emptiness, loneliness, and sadness are extremely common.

That’s not to say that we don’t make attempts to find happiness. All of us have our own personal spaces where we try to remain happy. Nevertheless, that distinct and unpleasant feeling that you will never achieve happiness can become almost constant.

A good book on this subject that we invite you to read is “You Can be Happy in Alaska.” It focuses on cognitive psychology, trying to help you in a fun and practical way to deal with complex situations like stress, depression, and anxiety.

Living in the present without fear

Happiness is, above all, a lack of fear.

Although this emotion has essential utility in an evolutionary sense, since it can help prevent you from doing something that your brain perceives as dangerous, fear can come in subtle and damaging forms:

• Fear of loneliness
• Anxiety over not being loved like you want
• Fear of not achieving the goals you set for each day
• You might feel a fear of not being who others expect you to be
• Fear that things will or will not change
• Fear of losing certain things or certain people

You are no doubt familiar with at least some of these fears. The first step to building inner happiness is to rationalize your major fears, understand them, and ultimately overcome them.

One way is to strengthen your self-esteem. Independence will help you to avoid becoming excessively attached to particular things or people.

Learn to step lightly

Stepping lightly doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have someone by your side. Not at all. Few things are as wonderful as walking hand in hand with your family, your friends, or any person you treasure.

• Those partners in life should let you “step lightly.” Anyone who prefers to stand behind you and remind you of your faults, to whisper which way to go or what paths to avoid, won’t help you grow or find happiness.
• Stepping lightly means knowing how to push aside what hurts you and damages your self-esteem or identity.
• Promoting your freedom also means knowing what your priorities are. This is something that we invite you to consider right now.

Once you know what’s most important to you, just fight for it. Everything else is secondary.

Self-love is a relationship that should last a lifetime

Happiness is a state that comes and goes, we all know.

You also understand that the key is to have that inner balance where your thoughts are in harmony with your emotions as well as the things you do every day.

• Self-love is the perfect mechanism by which the mind and emotions can work in partnership to quietly create your reality as an essential psychological construct.
• Self-love is that fabulous bond that ties you to yourself and not to anyone else. Others won’t be able to tell you when to be happy or not according to their own whims.
• You are the one who loves yourself the most, and you must fight every day for your own well-being.

When a person is happy with who they are, when their fears abate and their dreams appear over the horizon, that’s when the happiness appears inside of them.

It’s something worth cultivating.